First attempt at doing an actual song. I still hate my voice but it's not as if that's going to change overnight so fuck it.

- - -

The baby didn't move, didn't squirm, didn't kick
Without the ultrasound you might have thought it didn't live
The diagnostic tools said it was perfectly healthy
But even so they did a Caesarean and cut open her belly

The baby took its first breath but never even cried
In fact it laid still and never even opened up its eyes
They wondered why not, and what was in its mind
So they ran tests but nothing showed that it was sick or gonna die

The couple went home with the baby as a family
And when he started nursing they were so relieved and happy
Maybe things were gonna fall in place after all
Maybe the idiosyncrasies were small and they could pass it off

But they laid him in his crib and never heard him through the night
Several times they checked to make sure he was alright
But when morning came around and the sky had turned light
They saw the baby never moved and didn't even use his sense of sight

Time passed, no cries no laughs
Every day the the same thing, a kid that permanently napped
They called a doctor but still no diagnosis was made
Just a comatose child that was floating away

No one guessed that indifference created the distance
That he didn't really care enough to look around or listen
A lack of curiosity about the world he lived in and
A lack of motivation to concern himself with living

Eventually it took its toll, eating at his mother
A child so lifeless tore her sanity asunder
So she laid awake in bed as she obsessively wondered
Was it all her fault or the fault of another?

Wide bloodshot eyes as she stayed online
All night, hoping to find a solution or sign
She tried speaking to him softly but got no reply
So back to the laptop, back to the grind

Three weeks passed, she broke down and collapsed
A normal, loving family was all she wanted to have
Mood swings came next, first angry then sad
Her husband came to thinking that his wife had gone mad

The ultimatum came with the baby in her hands
Eyes closed, still mute, face emotionless and bland
Her hands began to tremble, no patience left in them
And so became another case of Shaken Baby Syndrome

Distraught, scared, abject despair
No drive to live, it seemed unfair
Lexapro, Citalopram, Abilify, Prozac
Had to go try an out that revivified, no chance
Relapse instant, inconsolable
All the failing medication made her feel so gullible
She hated the world and she hated herself
Not a thing in the world seemed to comfort or help
Her hopes and dreams reduced to rubble
She stood on the tracks as the station rumbled
She'd been looking for the light at the end of the tunnel
So she faced the iron beast and got a two-for-one bundle

- - -

EDIT: I had not read this before but found the resemblance striking: In a famous letter to Johann Joachim Eschenburg (December 31, 1778), Lessing relates the death of his infant son, who "understood the world so well that he left it at the first opportunity."