Unfortunately this piece is much like the snowman after he got melted... not a lot of consistency.
Look at ways you can better transition between parts. Remember that every instrument isn't just another line in a piano roll, it's an entire textural transformation of the piece. Where every pad and element appears is key to the feeling and integrity of the piece. Too many sudden changes and your audience will have no idea what is going on... not enough change and it will put them to sleep. It takes a long time and a lot of practice to find the right balance between variation and boredom, but I'm sure you'll get there in time.
At the start, I almost thought you were going to go for more of an ambient approach. That would have been great, baring the evil snowman thing. Maybe if there's a picture of a happy pine forest covered in snow and you instead matched this piece would have worked better for me, but it just doesn't line up with the image right. We're supposed to feel fear and terror and adrenaline rush and instead we feel like we're going to build a snowman, not blow one up with a flame thrower. :P
Some of the elements in the song are too loud for their context. For example when the bass comes in DURING the intro, it's like "BWAAHHHHH" when everything else is like "oohhh... ahhh..." Maybe try leaving the bass out until the start or try other volumes and textures to mix everything nicely. Remember dynamics always!
the part around 1:25 is confusing to the listener with all the different timbres. Also, the LFO should be lined up with the piece not slightly out of line, or else the tempo feels strange.
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My ratings:
Originality- 8/10
Relevance- 12/30
Composition- 12/25
Instrumentation- 8/15
Mastering- 6/10
Emotion/Interest- 4/10
Total: 50/100 (NG: 2..5 stars)