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Supplication

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Friends, I present to you my submission for Round 2 of the NGADM 2012 against EbonHawk7x, which led me to Round 3. It is arguably one of my most passionate submissions yet. This song, which took me about 5-6 days, holds a very special place in my heart, especially around this time.

27 August 2012 marks the fourth anniversary of my mother's death. In remembering her and praying for the repose of her soul, I penned down the music and lyrics for this song: I was very much inspired by the love my parents shared. As many people with families like mine would say: there was only one perfect family -- the families we have are broken. And yet, the family is sustained when everybody tries hard, and loves very much. I know that through the eighteen years that my parents were married, through all the hardships and the imperfections, and the troubles that I caused, they loved each other very much. This song is to honour that love.

Between my parents, my mother was the musician, and I could very much picture her singing this to my father, even in the most difficult of times. I do certainly hope this song manages to take the listener's breath away.

The title, "Supplication," refers to the act of begging someone earnestly.

Music and vocals by Troisnyx.
FL Studio, Audacity and an integrated PC mic. FOR STARTERS, I CANNOT YET AFFORD A CONDENSER MIC. I wish I could.

Used in this project:
Akai-Steinway III soundfont, by Denis.
https://www.polyphone-soundfonts.com/en/files/10-pianos/303-akai-steinway-iii

P.S.: Hopefully after the NGADM, the final version may be done by Kingdom of Herts.

EDIT 27.08.2012: Genre changed from 'Miscellaneous' to 'Easy Listening - Jazz' because of the similarities it bears to old lyrical jazz songs. (To say nothing about Gershwin and composers in his league.)

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LYRICS

Help me
Take me into your arms
Let me be as fire in your heart

Hold me
Let love devour me
Be as the wind that blows the clouds away

CHORUS:
Help me
Please, can you help me?
Please, can you help me?
I'm desperate for you
Help me
Come and surround me
With love so sublime
Tried and true

Help me
Lead me to where you go
Let me be yours as day turns to night
(CHORUS)

Tell me
Will you still love me
Will you be there with me when I grow old?

And tell me
Will you be with me
When it is time for me to close my eyes?
(CHORUS)

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The first thing I'd like to note about this track is that you've made a fantastic intro - the piano chords immediately bring a wonderful melancholic atmosphere that's unique to this entry. It's got a bit of the same mood that I feel in songs like some variations of the jazz standard Autumn Leaves, and Supertramp's If Everyone Was Listening, off the top of my head. You introduce a cello (probably?) with a strong melody here too, and when the intro ends after 25 seconds the listener is left with a really memorable snippet.

After that, the vocals are introduced, and they have many of the same problems that I mentioned in your previous submission - mediocre sound quality (an improvement after Prompter Te, where it was pretty awful), doused in reverb, and a lot of excessive vibrato and out of tune singing (critically so during the last 2 minutes). Still, you're conveying the intended emotion very well, and the lyrics aren't bad at all. The singing also supports the chords along with the violin and the bassline in a way that leads to some fantastically beautiful resolution and chord movements. Then when the interlude at 3:26 comes, it breaks up the track into separate sections very nicely. Great flutes and authentic piano playing and a nice introduction. Overall a great addition to the track, probably my favorite part.

The biggest problem, for me, is that you're not taking advantage of the sheer length of the song. When a song is close to 7 minutes, I am expecting a variety of ideas and moods to be expressed, and most importantly, I'm expecting to hear more than one chord progression! In this songs however, the musical ideas that create the aforementioned atmosphere go on and on well beyond the point where they lose their freshness.

8.0/10

This is beautifull...the instrumental reminds of epic sad songs we can find in anime's, especially in Bleach. Your voice is really sweet as well, when you have a new mic you should remake the vocals although they are pretty nice this way.

Troisnyx responds:

Admittedly, I would love to have this song remade.... And in the remake, there won't be just me singing, but my bandmate too. SkyeWinterest has helped me to remaster the song by and large, but there are still a few things I need to knock out.

Still, I am glad that you love this piece. Thanks for listening and reviewing! ^_^

NGADM 2 and stuff.

A big improvement over your round 1 submission, the music this time was much clearer, although I don't think it was on the same level in terms of composition, it complimented the vocals well enough.
However, you still have that overly strong reverb on the vocals, making it sound like you're singing in a bathroom on the other side of the stadium instead of up on stage with the rest of the band. And I can still hear a struggle with confidence in your voice, it's not nearly as bad as before, but I'm hearing a lot of nervous wobbling in your voice that I think you were trying to pass off as vibrato, but it's very easy to distinguish between the two.

Still, and improvement, would've liked to hear a little more active music, vocals still need a bit more improvement though. 7/10.

Troisnyx responds:

What if I told you I wasn't even nervous AT ALL when I sang?

Woh. Your voice really is beautiful. This reminds me of a 1960s recording of a piano bar where men and women smoke cigarettes and rest from their normally busy lifestyle in downtown New York. Perhaps, in the midst of the crowd, a man with a black hat stares at the dusty brown table he sits at, thinking to himself the troubles of his empty love life. A women at the bar drinks her fourth martini for the night, letting tears fall from her face from memories of her dead husband. A group of guys laugh and smile while playing poker in the corner. Their voices paint the bar among other conversations about busy jobs, jokes on politics and life, and general chit chat of no real importance. All at the same time, the woman singing on the stage truly ties the entire culture together in a beautiful knot. Her voice carries the story of culture until she stops, and the bar turns off its lights as the crowds leave go back to their homes and sleep for another day.

This song had a very nice ring to it. It was slow, sad, and beautiful. It made me smile and reminded me of that classic, old piano bar scene. It reminded me of that certain culture, but in a more artsy way where time just seems to stop and the only thing that exists are these people in this building. It was very pretty. You should keep singing and playing the piano. You have real musical talent and I have no idea how you recorded all that. I am terrible at recording piano and I am trying my BEST this week to actually get a good recording... I hope I succeed as well as you did lol. I have like, four songs to record haha.

This really is raw beauty at its finest. Really well done. Keep up your work please and never stop!

Troisnyx responds:

Admittedly, the piano here was sequenced too, but if I were to replicate the piano here live, I could. I do lament the fact that it was sequenced, but I'll have to wait a while before I can do something about this. So to compensate, I try my hardest to humanise the piano track on FL Studio as if I was playing it. SkyeWintrest taught me a few things to tweak around with the vocals after giving his judgement, so that helps too. : )

I'm glad it did remind you of that scene... Both my parents loved good oldies. I just hope that the next NGADM submission actually reflects this in some way, shape or form.

Thanks a bunch for the review! x

This has a nightclub feel to it.
I admire your guts for putting vocals in thisw competition throughout.
It is something that most competitors in the NGADM have not done.
Your composition is your strong point and lyrically this is great as well.
Your production is constantly improving however and that is great to see.
P.S. This reminds me of an early Susan Boyle videotape recording somehow.

Credits & Info

Troisnyx
Author

Listens
3,212
Faves:
7
Downloads
72
Votes
14
Score
4.80 / 5.00

Uploaded
Aug 25, 2012
3:11 PM EDT
Genre
Jazz
File Info
Song
7.6 MB
6 min 39 sec
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Licensing Terms

Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.