Excellent voice,excellent song.I hope you will make your way to the top64 in Audio Deathmatch,and reach even further.
I really like how you are AWESOME at singing.
I try! Thanks!!
It's massively impressive, however I think it can be better.
First minute is great
Second minute is great
Fifth minute is great
From 2:30 things get same-y and remain that way til 4 mins. I would recommend doing something else with that minute and a half. There's this thing in literature (most media) where showing too much of the same lessens the impact, and I think it's that minute and a half.
Another suggestion, but this is only personal preference, is to play around a bit more with that guitar starting at 2:28; it's a great sound but there can be more done with it.
You could even use that bit from 4:00 - 4:50 as a kind of chorus, transpose it to the 3 minute mark just to break things up a bit; a mild climax which comes back down to the guitar again and a few more verses. Playing around with the drums a bit would also help.
I was thinking of Placebo's 20 Years which gets away with it because it keeps the listener in suspense with promises of an ever building climax; then he breaks you down with orgasm denial... *cough*
Meh, I'm trying to be helpful here but failing. I really like the song.
Right now I consider the song to be finished :( But I have to say your feedback sounds very tempting to try. I rearranged a few things in the music sheet like you hinted and I do like it. Maybe, if I ever have to re-record it for an album or anything, I'll consider rearranging stuff!
Thanks a bunch for the feedback!! =D
I Love It
Nice voice plus make more =D
Thank you so much!! I shall!! =D
You got a good a voice. The instrumental in this song is actually quite great. Some parts of the vocals don't exactly "fit."
"Is this retreat
the only choice there is left for me?"
"And yet I know it's all my fault for walking
Barefoot in a field of glass but...
I will not fall"
sound a bit out of place. The rhythm is slightly weird in these areas and not exactly comfortable to hear. Other than that there are few problems with this piece. keep working at it.
Well, I can see why you don't like the second line. It really contradicts previous rhythm and stuff. But the "Is this retreat.." has the same melody and rhythm as the previous lines, so idk what's wrong with that one :(
Thanks a lot for the feedback!! =D
Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.