Whoever was singing should never sing ever again. Other than that it was ok.
Now get better recording equiptment. Becuase you seriously have alot of potential. If people can more clearly hear what you're playing, you'll likely go much farther than NG with stuff like this.
Its not that terrible... but not going to lie. I thought it was in Japanese the first time I heard the lyrics.
Leave out the lyrics!
It was sounding good up to that point.
Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.