Not bad at all!
Nicely done dude, I like the theme, synths are pretty nice, melodies fit well. If the drums were phatter I'd have given this a 9 :P the drums are what lets it down imho. The sequencing and the loops you've used are fine, but for a large proportion of the song there was far too much low pass on the drums, or rather a low cutoff on the lpf on the drums.
Then when the drums come in fully, they're not "Punchy" enough. Remember, the emphasized parts in drum and bass should be...well the drums and the bassline. The square lead sound is too loud for the rest of the track, it doesnt sit in the mix properly.
Try lengthening it somewhat too :) most dnb is from 4 to 7 minutes.
But its a very admirable first attempt at drum and bass! Keep it up mate :P
Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.