mmmmm
the melodies were fine, but ill break down my constructive criticism into separate parts so that you can learn from it.
MELODY: its totally fine. but, the main problem is that it repeats too much without enough variation. you need to add in touches that break the repetition. also, it seems like the melody suits itself better as a back up instrument rather than the lead of teh song--as it is now, it seems like a stale, unfinished song, no matter how beautiful you make the pianos.
if you want, you can structure it like a conventional classical song, with the lower broken chords [as the bass clef, so to speak], supporting unit, and then add a more melodic, higher notes [the treble clef?] but right now its too empty.
CYMBALS/HATS: get rid of them. alone, they don't fit. if you're going to have percussion like that, you need more than the pianos. so you can keep them if u rework the entire thing, i think, but as of now, it just seems a little strange.
PRODUCTION: here is where i can help you a lot. the huge problem here is that you are not changing the strength of any of the notes. this piano player is an extremely rigid robot who has no emotion in his playing. what you should do are make some sections softer, some louder for emphasis. then, you should make notes that lie on the beat of the song be stronger, while those on offbeats be a little weaker, ideally. you also might consider not making them all be _exactly_ on time, because no piano player would be like that.
at the bottom of it, you want it to sound realistic in this situation, and without modulating velocity [or at least volume], it just doesnt seem to work.
finally, at the end, the choir is kind of abrupt and weird, i think it doesn't make sense unless its going throughout the song. i think it could work as a supporting instrument. but even at that level the sound you chose seems too synthetic since the whole piano vibes puts off a sort of natural happiness as the mood of the piece.
hope i helped! im not trying to be harsh, i'm just trying to give you some advice. if you want some help, jst pm me or something. if u use reason, ur in bigger luck if u want anything from me lol. i think my latest song has a good example of having a realistic piano in the background of the chorus--i can send you a stripped version of it if you want.
rock on :)
Ajgajg 
