I never thought I had to unearth this piece of crap out of its 2-year-old grave, but here we are cuz I said I'd do it if Past won the Grand Festival in Splatoon 3 (it's much better than Gen Alpha slang torture if Team Present won anyways lol)...also wanted to make something for the Creepypasta Jam on my own since I had this old thing lying around and wanted to make SOMETHING for the Audio Portal to expand my horizons, I've been dabbling in voice acting recently thanks to a certain triangular pal.

The cringy original for reference:

Enjoy the show...

We open to our heroes telling spooky stories by the campfire, M-kirbs somehow found an old piece of paper with her creepy tale that has never seen the light of day in 2 years...until now.

[START OF AUDIO TRANSCRIPT]

M-kirbs (in a subpar Tim Sniffin/Mayonnaise impression): Now presenting, an old tale made by yours truly: NEWGROUNDS.EXE, finally read aloud near the fire to you all...

M-kirbs: It was a Friday like any other: Bright, sunny, and optimistic. I was browsing through Newgrounds when I received a mysterious PM notification. It from some unknown user, but I swore it had 666 in their username. The subject reads, "Hello..." I open it up out of curiosity and what it reads was this message,

??? (in an ominous tone): "Do you wanna play a game?"

M-kirbs: I got cautious thinking this was some kind of prank or scam, so I write, "I don't trust you, is this some kind of scam?" Almost immediately, I got a response saying,

???: "Oh no, it's no scam. Just try it..."

M-kirbs: Well, it's been a boring week for me, so I cautiously responded, "Um, sure?" A reply with a link titled "newgrounds.exe" showed up as a response. I clicked on it to download, a message showed up in my browser:

Atari SAM: NEWGROUNDS.EXE IS NOT COMMONLY DOWNLOADED. MAKE SURE YOU TRUST NEWGROUNDS.EXE BEFORE YOU OPEN IT.

M-kirbs: Curiosity got the best of me again, so I clicked it and opened up the file. What's the worse that could happen? I trust it...right? Suddenly, my laptop screen went black. I panicked while thinking, "OH GOD IT IS A SCAM, why did I let my stupid curiosity get the best of me?!" Then out of nowhere, my computer went back on, as if it woke up from sleep mode. I take a sigh of relief as I type in my PIN to unlock my computer. Once I typed in the last digit, my screen went black again. This time, it wasn't my computer shutting off, but it was a black screen within a window. I tried closing it, no luck. I tried minimizing it, nothing changed. Task Manager, putting my computer to sleep, shutting it down... nothing happened.

Then, something showed up on the screen, an angry faic with blood running down its eye sockets and a bloody message that reads, "YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE DONE THAT" A cold feeling runs down my body as I read what's on screen. Then suddenly, a bloody clawed hand grabs me from the computer and drags me into the black void.

It's surprising that I could still breathe in a space like this, I summon my sword, ready to fight anything that comes at me. Suddenly, an unknown force makes my arm use my sword, but there wasn't anything in sight. Instead, it made me slash my own arm off and a part of my hair. It was the most painful thing I ever experienced in my life. An unknown force grabs my eyes right out of my sockets, leaving nothing but bloody tears. My mouth was sealed by my own skin, making it hard for me to breathe. Breathing didn't matter to me because I was already dead. Suddenly, my lonesome kindness was made into words as my voice said to you, as clear as I would normally speak,

HOPELESS (kirbs.exe): "Would you... be my... friend..?"

(beat)

M-kirbs: Oh god, I MADE THIS 2 YEARS AGO, WHAT WAS I ON BACK THEN?!

Claptrap: Well, uh, at least it made for a good story by the campfire, right?

M-kirbs: I mean, yeah...but I know I have way better material what I made when I first started writing stories for once...

(proceeds to drop the paper into the flames)

[END OF AUDIO TRANSCRIPT]

Campfire ambience for intro and outro: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRx8EWPBRdE

Paper burning sound: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HCy6mYcvMWE

Atari SAM voice: https://texttospeechrobot.com/sam-text-to-speech-download/mp3/

A package of extra goodies for you...

AND EXPECT MORE COLLABORATIONS FOR THIS JAM SINCE SOMEONE JUST HOOKED ME UP FOR VA WORK, WOO!