I really don't know how to kept going. some times I think should just end it and see death and laugh at it. I really don't know who will cares about me since I just fell lonely. 

before death comes to me, I want to see the world and see the great history but the sad thing is that it will never happened since I can't afford it and have someone to share it. 

I'll try to live a little bit longer, but the longer I lived the harder it is to keep my sanity happy.