February 29th is an elusive day which can occur several times in one's life. So bizarre it is that people are actively forced to rework their yearly routines should an anniversary take place on this special occasion. Born on the 29th? Now you have to either shift the party a day earlier or later and feel underwhelmed by the incorrect celebration, or wait four whole years to ring it in. You also won't be of legal drinking age until you're well into your 80s. Got married on the 29th? Hope you're ready to weather through over 1,200 straight days of codependency and dysfunction before you can officially pretend to love each other again. Started a job on the 29th? Say goodbye to that yearly promotion chance, because you'll still be considered a newbie in the eyes of God and corporations. Even the dead are not spared from the Leap Day, as those deceased on the 29th will physically demanifest from reality until the next fourth interval, their bodies being sent to the same dimension that houses the concept of February 29th.

So what does all of this have to do with Valentine's Day, other than the fact HeartMan wants it to be? Nothing, really. But I did have a completely different greeting planned for this year before remembering "Hey, this is a Leap Year! Let's poke fun at that instead!" And now here we are. That's another greeting achieved, and another year's idea preserved, which further prolongs the inevitable end of this yearly tradition as the pool of ideas gradually becomes shallower.

Previous HeartMan Greetings:

2016 - 2022 Greetings (Archive)

2017

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