The Dearests are a pair of rockstars in Nyx City. They're a seedy bunch that actually feeds on people's Souls via singing. Lose a rap battle to these two and your Soul is in their gut. Lovely. While nowhere near as villainous as those two, their daughter doesn't exactly start off the best. She loves her new Boyfriend, but winds up dragging him into a fight with Whitty in an effort to help him. This being Whitty, that little exchange doesn't go well. She winds up on the recieving end of annoying assistance when Sarv tries to get her and the Boyfriend to confess their sins. BF naturally has no filter or shame, so he confesses smoking crayons when he's alone because he thought it would make him see new colors.

Sarvente: ......................................Oh....................Oh wow....................That's.......Well, that's just stupid, but good on you for confessing......Don't tell anyone else about that, alright?

  The girlfriend has something on her mind, but doesn't tell. She does the rational thing and throws her Boyfriend at him. After getting kicked out of the church, complete with the Nununs putting up crude drawings of the two with the word 'baned' on them. The Boyfriend brushes it off because he big dumb, and the Girlfriend pauses, but puts this argument over some "past sins" to rest. She gets along with Garcelo just fine, but since he possesses the Boyfriend in his week for...reasons, BF gets to see memories of just what the Dearests do to their business partners, their fans, and people who know too much. A really, really small spark goes off in the BF's head, and he gets a bit more cautious, even turning down time to spend with her folks.

  Things get a tad dodgy from there, the Girlfriend thinks she's losing another boyfriend, so she tries sparking his interest by taking him off-world. This kinda goes South as they get in fights with Bob and Ron, and then Nikusa challenges the Boyfriend. Needless to say, GF isn't happy with the results. She arranges a concert for him to perform at, and this sparks an argument between her an another demon girl. Evidentally, flipping off a girl with clear issues while your boyfriend is trying to defuse the situation in a rare bit of lucidity isn't the best tactic. Not even helping babysit his baby brother seems to get them any closer. Then Tabi rears his head...

  After that disasterous dinner date, BF keeps a notable distance from GF, not even returning her calls. It's at that point that GF tells her parents she doesn't want to be a part of the family music business anymore.

Daddy Dearest: Eh?

Girlfriend: I don't want to be a part of this! Everytime I meet someone, you two always ruin things! Except this time, where I did too!

Daddy Dearest: Wait, you can deduce that but you can't properly use a toaster?

Girlfriend: Don't change the subject!

Mommy Mearest: Look, sweetie, I get it, you just got out of a nasty break-up, but you're a Dearest, we're talking elite here, you'll find another. In fact-

Girlfriend: No, not in fact! If being elite means making a whole ass of myself, then I want out!

Daddy Dearest: You can't just "want out"! We run a tight business here and we're not letting you sink it so you can suck face with some idiot who probably draws schlongs on Pictochat!

Girlfriend: What would you lose if I ran off!? Would you lose good press points because don't have a kid to pose with for pictures anymore!?

Mommy Mearest: Sweetheart, you really shouldn't talk to your parents like that. We're here for you, your new ex-boyfriend isn't, do the math.

Daddy Dearest: Besides, we already got a new boyfriend for ya! Say hello to the future Mr. Dearest!

(Gestures to Hacos)

Hacos: Evening.

Girlfriend: .............Is he behind your manager?

Mommy Mearest: He is the manager! Isn't that great? We're so proud!

Girlfriend: ........................!?

Hacos: If it makes you feel any better, I just want a kid.

Girlfriend: That makes it worse!

Mommy Mearest: Ahem, sweetie, you're being very rude. We went through the trouble of setting all this up, and you're just gonna let it fall apart for some simp? Is this how you treat your parents?

Girlfriend: I don't even know him!?

Daddy Dearest: That's not an issue, hon, it knows you.

Girlfriend: "It"!?

Hacos: Look, lady, I was promised a kid for a project, and if your parents don't deliver, their business goes to sh-t.

Girlfriend: Good! Let it go to sh-t! I'm out!

Daddy Dearest: You're out my ass!

Hacos: Damn everything.(Summons a tendril that electrocutes the Girlfriend, knocking her out)If you want something bloody done right, do it yourself.

Mommy Mearest: Apologies, sir, she's had a bad influence lingering over her.

Daddy Dearest: We still got that wedding on the schedule, right?

Hacos: If you mean I won't turn your whole business into the world's biggest Jenga Tower and swallow your Souls only to shite them out in my sink, then yes.

Daddy Dearest: Fantastic! Alright, Henchmen, get her in the car, we're off to Pastadanya.

Mommy Mearest: Except you two, stick around and make sure nobody comes looking for us.

Boyfriend: Hello? Girlfriend? I...uh, I know we're kinda on the rocks, but I wanna talk. I know I shut you out, but it was becau-Huh?

Henchman 1: Okay, for the 100th time, someone walks through that door, asks where the Dearests are, what do you say!?

Henchman 2: They went to Pastadanya...I mean, they didn't went to Pastadanya.

Henchman 1: You is stupid.

Henchman 2: Speakin' of stupid, why's that kid dressed like that?

Henchman 1: Eh?(Turns around)Aw shi-!

  One fight later, the Boyfriend runs around, looking for someone, anyone to help. He considers calling some people, but decides against it. Whitty? I don't think he's looking to be pals right now. Hex? Doesn't seem like a fighter. Annie? Might not be too keen on saving the Girlfriend consider what her parents did with Garcello. Bob? How did he get in BF's contacts? Ron? How did H E he get in BF's contacts!? Sarvente and Ruv? Baned from the church, remember? Sky? Might be in anger-management, also she and GF hate each other. Boy, Girl, or Nikusa? He...doesn't have their phone-numbers. Maybe Carol!

Sunday: Wha-? Oh Carol! She went to a fancy restaurant to suck face with a bomb or something. Hey, I don't judge. I sucked face with the dishwasher in my sleep last night. Bastard didn't even call me back.(Falls face-flat on the couch, sound asleep)

  Welp, only one option, your angry ex and his team of monster-hunters. With promises that GF will pay them with her dead parents' money if they save her, they head off with BF to Pastadanya. Fighting through Henchmen, and eventually...a forcefully corrupted Girlfriend. This nightmarish thing is based on this nightmare fuel ( This is the animated version, but it has flashing lights and creepy faces), and BF makes one final attempt to reach out and save her. After an intense and hollowing duet...it works.

Boyfriend: It worked!

Pico: It worked!?

Darnell: It worked!?

Nene: What? I wasn't watching! Did it work?

Girlfriend: You...You came back for me...

Boyfriend: I wouldn't leave you in a place like this, would I?

(The two embrace)

Chaos Blot: What is this Care Bears BS I see before my eyes?

Mommy Mearest: Uh, haha, sweetheart, you're embaressing us.

Daddy Dearest: We didn't come out here so you can leave someone at the alter! Stop simpin' and think of your family!

Girlfriend: ........(Struggles to get up, and goes to BF)

Daddy Dearest: You have got to be kiddin' me.

Mommy Mearest: It's fine. She wants to condemn her own parents and throw away a promising future so she can spend the rest of her days sucking off a hobbit, why judge her? All we can do is make those days mercifully short for her.

(BF holds up GF in his arm, looking at the Dearests approaching)

Daddy Dearest: You know, boy, my girl's had a lotta flings over the years, and not a single one o' them measured up. But you, ohohoho you, you're the first to actually piss me off. So you know what? Since you're here, why don't we get the groom a last-minute present?

(A horde of Henchmen approaches, backing up the Dearest as they get closer to the group)

Boyfriend: You alright?

Girlfriend: This doesn't feel right...I-I've never felt this drained before...

Boyfriend: Don't worry, I'll never let them get you, never again...

(As they get closer, he lets out a rage-filled scream into his mike...backed up with two shapeshifters roaring, a living bomb screaming, a Russian warcriminal shaking the Earth with his voice, and...whatever Sky is roaring as well; the Corrupt are sent flying backwards, as BF turns around to see them all there)

Carol: 'Sup?

Boyfriend: Whoa! You guys all made it! Wait, how did you all get here? How did you even know I was here?

Ruv: Let us see, former Queen of Hell, actual Angel, Queen of the Void, and when this terrifying basketball robot texted you asking if you wanted to hang out, you replied "sory, pass, gota sav muh gurlfriendd on Pasdadanna TTYL if im not ded". Subtle, you are not.

Carol: Plus Sunday called, they said you were looking for me.

Sarvente: This is what the church calls "Turning the other cheek".

Girlfriend: Heh...Thanks, you guys. I get I wasn't the best to some of you. Can we still be friends after all this?

Pico: No.

Whitty: Absolutely not.

Carol: Eh, we're still cool.

Sarvente: No thank you. I'll pass.

Ruv: (Stares holes into her Soul)

Hex: I'm cool with that!

Annie: I'm not. Your parents got my friend killed.

Sky: I, uh, was kinda just here to help him.(Points to BF)

Nikusa: Same.

Girl: Ditto.

Boy: What she said.

Girlfriend: (Sweatdrop)Fair enough.

Boyfriend: Hey, I still think you're great~

(GF smiles before they notice the Dearests getting back up; cue final battle)

(The Dearests and their benefactor lay on the ground, weakened after the battle)

Chaos Blot: This...This is why I don't work with musicians.

Daddy Dearest: Uh...Ehehe....Come on, kid, you're not gonna just throw all this away, are ya? We could still work somethin' out. Hey, ya wanna be a rockstar!? I-I know all the tricks!

Mommy Mearest: Urgh...Sweetheart, y-you're not gonna let him do this, are you?

Girlfriend: ..............

Mommy Mearest: Come on, we raised you! We're your family! You're gonna damn us for some pretty boy!? Why would you do this!?

Chaos Blot: Oh, quit the sweet-talk, you absolute welps. You think that's gonna do you good now?(After some struggling, gets up)It doesn't matter now. You, with the stupid hair, listen up and listen tight. These two may be screwed where they sit, but me? I've been around a whole lot longer than you have, and I'll be around long after you and everyone in your little Superfriend squad over there bites it. You can kill me all you want, but there isn't a thing that exists that can end me. I'll come back, I'll be fear for eternity. You? You'll be forgotten the moment you croak. So go ahead, Microphone-Schlong, hit me with your best shot! See how that turns out!

Daddy Dearest: What!? NO! DON'T DO THAT!

Mommy Mearest: WE ARE NOT WITH HIM ON THIS!

(BF and GF look at each other, then they and all the people backing them up let out one, final, really loud note, blasting the trio and their Henchmen to smithereens)

  After that, Dearest Music got shut down, and the Girlfriend moved in with BF and his folks, making peace with the citizens of Nyx City. And that's how she developed into the current day GF. You know, this one.

Do not steal. Wanna make art or stories of my stuff, please credit me.

All characters belong to their respective owners/creators.

Friday Night Funkin'(c)Cameron "ninjamuffin99" Taylor, David "PhantomArcade" Brown, Isaac "Kawai Sprite" Garcia, and evilsk8r