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When the King in Castle Crashers asked you to rescue his daughters, you knew exactly what to do. You rescue women all the time, except instead of evil wizards you rescue them from normal, boring lives. But they're never grateful. Instead, they just whine about the horrible diseases you've given them. You'd think they'd be happy they now have pus oozing out of their orifices, allowing them to get in on the lucrative Bulgarian freak show circuit instead of having to work some lame 9 to 5 job, but they just sit there weeping and occasionally spitting teeth at you.
It's time to thank the man who raised the only four women who won't file a restraining order against you by buying a figurine.
Figurine ©2007 The Behemoth, all rights reserved. | Made in China by animal orbs. | Assembled and packaged in the USA - "Git r done." | Warning: Ages 7+. Seriously kids, watch Hellraiser if you want to see what happens if you play with toys you're not supposed to. | Choking Hazard: Small Parts. Also, don't try to eat the actual action figure itself. You could probably put it into a lubricated condom and try to swallow that, but it's not a good idea. | Not for children under 3 years. Unless your children enjoy eating plastic. If they're able to eat a lot of plastic, be sure to notify the Guinness Book of World Records.