Good but...
It's really good, but you should really check for balance of syllables in each group of sentences, it makes it more lyrical. Otherwise it's really good.
Reviews for "Virgil #3 If Only If"
Virgilcomic responds:
I'm not a very experienced poem writer. :-p Thanks for the suggestion, as it should help me improve my bizarre sense of rhythm.
Awesome job, very poetic.
Awesome, I love seeing work like this on the portal. The poem was very deep, which led me to think in the beginning of the move that you weren't going to pull integrating visuals to it very well, but you did; and a very good job at that. I really liked how you depicted him running but all the doors were being locked. His retirement party was pretty deep too. The comical settings and some situations kind of touched on humor, which rocked the deep mood a little bit, but other than that, this is very well put together. Excellent job.
Excellent
The saddest thoughts in minds of men, are those of things that might have been.----John Greenleaf Whittier
Virgilcomic responds:
Great quote.
great
yeah...that was pretty interesting
Good
Poem was very good and I really loved the whole meaning to it. It just made my laugh a little when he said 'Boobs down to her theighs"
Good Job!