Reviews for WHOOKOS [CONCEPT] - Episode: 1

[polarwolf9]

I'm sorry, this isn't very good, I really wanted to like it because it was kind of fun and you clearly put a lot of work into it but there were too many flaws,

1) The story moves really slowly and the dialogue is delivered really slowly too, which makes things pretty boring and sucks the humor out of all the jokes. If you sped up the delivery of the jokes I would honestly be ROFLing, but it was too slow.

2) Lets say the dialogue was meant to be delivered that way, that means the characters are really relaxed and you were trying to create some sort of anti humor? But if the characters are so relaxed they wouldn't be so absolutely blown away by a tree. The character reactions weren't realistic in any situation. (If they're such close friends why would they be surprised by each others shenanigans?)

4) The 'gear' thing was kind of fun, (I thought it was going to be a pokemon parody) but you didn't really explain any of it.

5) When that character said 'lets spar' I thought ohkay this is a fighting parody of some sort? Didn't really understand why they would spar or anything really.

6) "That didn't look like a 'normal explosion'"? was pretty bad dialogue, a little tip I think would be to imagine if normal people would actually say these lines (even if you're going for the 'Oh these characters are so crazy and weird its hilarious' thing, the dialogue could be better.)

So far this is just about a couple of wacky friends meeting up going to a tree and then seeing an explosion. Not really 10 minutes of content. But the character interactions were pretty interesting (even though they didn't actually make me laugh) and honestly I'm really curious about what happens in the next episode.

tl;dr Interesting characters, unrealistic dialogue, the plot could move a lot faster.

WHOOKOS responds:

Thanks for the advice. I'll tinker around with what you suggested and see what happens. :)

[YttriumTTH]

I don't know exactly what to make of this because it does look like a big effort was made.

Writing:
The joke delivery was pretty bad but I guess that's my opinion. However, the way the characters acted didn't make too much sense. Who realistically reacts in great wonderment upon finding a slightly exotic tree? People plant exotic trees all the time.

Do the characters have ADHD too? Who goes "This day keeps getting more and more interesting!" when a part of the city just blows up on front of them? Does that other guy really wants to spend his day studying the tree when he can just google about it? After all, it's got a name according to a character, it's not a new tree. For a "look at how smart he is" kid, he isn't all that smart.

The worst part of the writing, in my opinion, is the fact you made yourself the main character. Self-insertion is a BIG bad writing flag for me.

Visuals:
The pseudo-anime style was pretty jarring to look at, specially considering the copious amounts of tweening and the out of place poorly rendered 3D backgrounds. If you insist on not drawing the backgrounds, at least make em fit the aesthetic. Try more cel shading and less melting textures.

I feel like a lot of the 5/5 you're getting is because kids and teens tend to mistake "OMG Anime look! OMG 3D graphix, only pros can do that!" with actual quality when neither of these things are hard to accomplish these days.

Also, what's up with the realistic-ass explosion on the google maps?

Sound:
Not much problem here.

[emiliegranny]

It's pretty okay, but there's a noticeable contrast between the hyper realistic environment and the much less detailed anime-esque style. You should also NEVER have an intro that takes a 1:20, especially for just your own logo expanding... I found it weird that you had to remove subtitles despite them being very useful, but for some reason left one in (yes, I know you acknowledged it, but you never explained why). The story honestly isn't that interesting to me, though that's more subjective. I didn't quite get the funniness of the jokes though. Someone playing Mario in their sleep somehow is so funny that it makes you fall over laughing? It just seems like a lot of overkill, paired with a story that I'm really not into. It's also very hard to lose yourself in a story that includes actual smoke gifs (or videos, I don't know what that was) in place of animating smoke.

[jordanhawaii]

Voice Acting: Some voices were good, but were honestly bad.
Art: Like a bad generic anime style that everyone does on deviantart. There's absolutely no diversity in the character designs at all. Just different eye and hair color.

Backgrounds: Bland and boring.

Story: For the first episode you would think you would try think of something creative and interesting but I know you are trying to introduce the characters. The only thing they did in the episode was go to a tree and claimed it as a new hangout. There was nothing interesting about it.

Creativity: The characters all fit generic troupes. Main character is a soft spoken; actually there are like 3 characters like that. There's always one loud guy in a show who is always acting dumb and obnoxious.

Try make a more interesting story with more diverse characters, better plot, stick to 2D backgrounds, and learn anatomy instead of using that same bland style you are still sticking with.
0/10

WHOOKOS responds:

Thanks. I'll keep improving.

[veselekov]

I rate this cartoon the amount of happening the plot consisted of.