Keep in mind that this is from the perspective of a foul minded critic, do not take anything harshly, this is nitpicking...
I'm glad to see a title of a game can so fondly reflect what you do in the game as to not confuse those who were hoping this was a game about walking, or wanking. J-J-Jump, which by the way should be muttered in the same manner as Forrest Gump, has a many positive elements that make it a memorable gaming experience, in the Newgrounds sense of memorable, that is, quirky. First off the soundtrack is nice, it's not "Steven Tyler just snorted a line of cocaine and ready to get down and dirty, but he's like 70 does it even work anymore?" entertaining, but it works with the 8-bit tone. Being scorned for holding whichever direction and press jump is a touch that tickles my cheek, though I wish it wouldn't, that's pretty homosexual. What I'm saying is I'm a masochist and prefer a stern slap to the face from a woman, preferably in a gimp suit, which is an alluring force this game lacks. The game does have a nice difficulty curve, but the end level is by far the hardest part of the game, and I would like to see more done with the multi-jumping mid-air mechanics. Still, the variation in the enemies mixed with good level design and moronic "puzzles" are adequate to say the least.
Straying away from the not so bad is the snarling middle-child Little Orphan Hitbox. The black sperm monsters seem to be the biggest troublemaker here, shoving the other orphan's heads in the toilet as I could hardly tell where the hitbox was with the rapid flailing. And oh look, here comes Little Orphan Hitboxes lumbering idiot henchman the dunce. The transition from death to respawn is indeed quick, however a bit too quick, so much so that it made poor Respawn too fast and smart, then his brain exploded Respawn and thats why his parents put him in the orphanage in the first place. So whatever powerpoint transition used for the respawn needs major adjustments, and other than those two bastards, Granny J-J-Jump is a borderline abusive game, but not enough to provoke anyone into calling the police.
Plot? What Plot?
4.5/5 Needs more slapping
-Vicio Da Aldo