Reviews for Epexsus Episode 1

[Minty737]

I agree with the positive comments you've already received about voice acting and anime style etc, so I'm not gonna go into those.

I wanted to point out that there are some inconsistencies between your written story (war was 400 years ago) and the script ("the war ended decades ago!") that make it not seem as epic. Also some of the scripting made the show boring to watch - the characters said "of course" about 6 times in the first 2 minutes watchign the village. I know you're trying to set up the characters usual habits, but you need to vary the language. "They're arguing again" or "I'm so sick of..." would help for the annoying things. "You know me" would be a good one for something ordinary like the hunting.
I also think you need to work on the timing. Some of the jokes and reactions seem to have too long a pause in between them, which distracts the viewer. Keep things flowing and moving along.

I like the story line and idea. I would like to see a pause button though, especially as it's so long! What if my phone rings or something? Overall it was alright, would like to see a re-polished version of this though. Keep working :)

[RED-X-MASTER-777]

Heh... A friend told me to check it out. I'm looking forward to this...
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Liked

-animation for background and characters (they look unique, just hope the outfits and backgrounds change for different areas, and it's not all grass, forest, or wasteland)

-music sounds good for menu and credits

-interesting villain. I hope to see this masked man become a strong antagonist, or one that changes the plot dramatically...

-creature designs look interesting, and hope to see more in your videos that continue being original -(ish).

-face expressions are cute and funny. got that down :D

-fire effects look cool.
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Dislike

-Bland dialogue...

-World seems kinda generic

-numerous breaks in animation, even with a high level computer. (pretty sure I can play this at full potential if I can play left 4 dead 2 and Blacklight at the same time...) Just continue making it smoother :D

I think Minty 737 said it best for most of the above in case you missed...
"I wanted to point out that there are some inconsistencies between your written story (war was 400 years ago) and the script ("the war ended decades ago!") that make it not seem as epic. Also some of the scripting made the show boring to watch - the characters said "of course" about 6 times in the first 2 minutes watchign the village. I know you're trying to set up the characters usual habits, but you need to vary the language. "They're arguing again" or "I'm so sick of..." would help for the annoying things. "You know me" would be a good one for something ordinary like the hunting.
I also think you need to work on the timing. Some of the jokes and reactions seem to have too long a pause in between them, which distracts the viewer. Keep things flowing and moving along."

-Protagonist needs a more apparent flaw... Weakness in physical strength or revenge on a bad guy should not be entitled to this, as it would really hurt the potential of Expexsus. (Or if you have one in mind, make it very very apparent next episode, cause I see this just becoming one of those meh-ish series. Yeah you will get fans, but not as much as this series probably deserves.)

-Not attached to any of the characters yet... Good 1st episodes have at least some character or idea to keep audiences watching (I'd put this in nitpick, but I bet a lot of people feel this way already...) However, as a fair critic, I will continue to watch the first few episodes, as you should never judge a book by it's cover :P
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Nitpicking...

-Cosmic beliefs and ways of life are considered very very similar but whatever...

-Tribes feel like a Naruto and avatar rip off... (Probably isn't, but it does right now)

-Your protagonist is very boring (Dakota?)... He's already better at most of the other characters at what he does, and has little interesting dialogue when talking to Anna or Ken.

-plot seems kinda predictable of some of the things to come...

-the ogre/imp joke is over done in the episode, but it's still funny.

-Voice acting "overall" is pretty sub par for my taste, but I hope the experiences you guys gain will improve your acting careers in future installments. I mean, give me a hero who's voice I won't forget, or at least put some emotion into it, and relationship that's more feisty or romantic... (unless you killed em off this episode, as most of the houses in the tribe were destroyed)
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Hope the story continues to grow, and look forward to seeing your work in the future as you grow (HOPEFULLY) :D

P.S.- Careful about making people go to deviant art to see you... maybe some viewers may have felt it is not worth it to follow you :P (Naw, some people will.... Just some cautionary advice though)

3 and 3 (:3)

[Mikedabear]

George, watch out for that tree!!

What kinda wolf has hooves?

Naruto Rip? Great War/Ninja villiages? Uchiha clan massacre?

Great use of shadows.

REALLY (desperately) need to work on the dialogue. Its very generic like im reading the chat log between strangers. No actual conversations go like that.

[glimpee]

Good directing and voice acting. Not so good animating, and OK writing, just need to work on continuity and logic

Other than that good job I guess

[Determinator]

First, I have to say that I love the music, the main theme does a great job of setting the mood. If it's original, whoever composed it knew what they were doing. Animation is mostly lackluster, though some parts are easily well done. That isn't really a big part of my review score. As long as it's pretty to look at, and the flaws don't distract me too much, you don't suffer. The echo and background noise during voice-overs in the audio are just noticeable most of the time. I noticed it right away because I had the volume turned up at 100%. Again, not a big deal. The voice acting is on par, and the emotions being conveyed are believable. The humor used is simple and predictable, but is well-delivered and effective. Years are just numbers, but clearly a lot of thought was put into this.

Mokota's backstory is a bit old school. Kid grows up in a society that raises its hunters and soldiers from a young age, and he loses a parent or both parents when he's much younger, and he has a deadly premonition that manifests in the future, either as predicted or as a result of his premonition. Don't get me wrong, it could work, it's just cliche.

I want to mention that there's a glitch in the dialogue structure between Mokota and the survivor, when he says "hey!" and then, "you gotta go." The seemingly inattentive vibe Mokota gives off as he stares into the burning village goes unaddressed. There's a pause that feels like a gap that needs to be bridged. I imagine the survivor saying, "listen, you gotta go," or "stop gawking, you gotta go." It feels like something's missing. It's easily ignored, and I'm pointing it out not because I'm demanding you to change it, but because I want to help you get better. I can't speak with experience on animation, but I know a thing or two about plot structure and dialogue.

Bottom line: lot of room for improvement here presentation-wise. To use a metaphor, I can smell something in the kitchen. It smells good, but it's stifled. I'm not getting enough, in a bad way. You gotta open up that oven door.

One more thing: you'd think that in a post-apocalyptic(or pseudo-post-apocalyptic?) setting in which adolescents take on important and mature roles, they'd be more exposed to the more deeply mature elements of human society. So far the only thing I can point out is obscene language, because there doesn't seem to be anything else in the way of mature themes going on around Mokota, which could quickly change as the series progresses, but that's all I got right now. That's just a personal gripe. What can I say, the gore at the beginning got me a little excited.