A very intriguing story of a man blinded for his eternal life and the usual evil witch deal, cant wait to see what happens next.
Reviews for "Headless Soldier"
exninja123 responds:
thanks you! :)
This is a great story! I find it quite fascinating, his obsession with eternal life and the witch's "gift" of "immortality", as well as her requirements for him to fully realize it. I am very curious what this "unconditional love" might be, and in what form it might appear.
I did notice a couple grammer and spelling errors. I think the sentence before he meets the Witch should say, "The soldier seeks out the Grand Witch to gain immortality", cutting out the word "for", as it seems unnecessary.
When she give the soldier his task, she should say "My foolish son HAS run away from home", as "HAD run" implies he had left and then returned.
Right before the soldier is decapitated, it should say "But when a man STRUCK him from behind"
When the witch finds him, it should say, "He head a familiar CACKLE", not crackle. A cackle is a type of laugh, but a crackle is a noise associated with sharp pops, like a fire.
As far as I can tell, this story has already happened, right? Then most of your verbs should be past tense, which is why I make the above distinctions. In my opinion, these are only minor errors. I understood the story just fine as it is, and it is a great story! I can't wait to see your other character stories!
exninja123 responds:
wow thank you so much!
it was very helpful! xD
glad you enjoyed the story!!! :D
I liked it. The part where he lost his head was creepy O.O with the music and such XD
exninja123 responds:
hehe thanks! xD