Not bad...
Very well worded, but I couldn't help but feel that there would be some type of actual animation on the horizon, and I don't think I'm the only one who felt that way.
You should probably write a book.
Reviews for "Takuto - Episode 1"
Good for what it was, not so much for Newgrounds.
Kind of an interesting piece of literature. This will probably come to be a good story (though some of the lines sound like it's been written by an overeager 5 year-old telling someone about imaginationland, try to be more objective in your wording) but as a flash "animation" it leaves quite a bit to be desired. A few sketchy drawings of landscapes that don't seem to connect with the text too deeply and some music that quickly began to irritate me as I was reading are all that seem to separate this from just a page of text on a website. To be perfectly honest I think you could make it work better as just that, text on a website. I would assume that you're keeping the animation to an absolute minimum so that you can meet your deadline, but I feel that it would greatly help your future submissions. If you are still strongly against the idea of animation, consider using more illustrations and making them correlate a little more with what the reader is reading. Maybe show Takuto in a couple of them too.
MarkHansAvon responds:
Thanks for you responses/reviews everyone. I promise I have, in return for your time, taken every suggestion into fair and equal consideration.
Thanks again for your time. =)
Great drawing, but where's the animation?
This looks like just a bunch of still frames of a sky scene and writing. If the story actually began to happen at some point, I was unable to wait through all the pages and pages and pages of introduction. If you want to write a book, write a book. If you want to make a flash animation, then animate something. :-/ Beautiful art and concept, but unwatchable as a flash flick. :-/