Hmm.. It's good.
In terms of style, this is well made. You made a short that should be done in FLASH: crisp, bold and sharp, lines. lol Needs more work on the feel, though. I didn't much despair on the part where she cries on the trees. Poor girl.
The plot of this short seems to lack a bit detail as to how things turned out be. It'd be more dramatic if you made a flash of how they broke up while she was running to the tree her boyfriend and she engraved their names in-- Or how about how the golem turned out the it looked like when it transformed-- Or how the golem killed her ex-boyfriend.
Sure, you might think the words of her boyfriend telling her that he'll break up with her, or the aftermath of the murder may be enough to tell the story, but they lack the impact the audience might want to experience.
I kinda wished you gave more thought on how you'd show this story. I'd much prefer that. :3
I get the feeling that this kind of plot has good potential to be a series. You know, the likes of XIN--or may be Hell Girl (Jigoku Shoujo). Revenge and Drama. Awesome concoction. >:]
Oh and one more thing... I'm guessing you're a Guitar Hero fan? The style of this short, and in GH feels quite similar, especially the look of the Goth girl. She looks like the female guitarist. Awesome game, my friend said. He loved Guitar Hero too--especially the girl! lol
Congrats, man. You've done good. *thumbs up*