The game I love to hate...
First of all, I'd like to state that this game could've had potential to become one of the greatest in Newgrounds, unfortunately, for us, the gamers, it was either released too soon, or not tested throughly for bugs... or not even tested at all! That being said, this game did not deserved medals, ever.
The game starts with nice, cool music, which builds up excitement and momentum... It's a shame that the same can not be said for the game play. Let me emphasize:
Right of the bat this game throws glitches at you like mad. You can't even complete the freakin' training mission without randomly going out the screen, not to mention that some of those combos are impossible to do, and on top of that, you don't even need to learn them because you don't really use them at all, all you need to do is press the attack button constantly for all enemies and that's basically it, that's the whole strategy to this game, mashing a button... Levitating while attacking is a nice addition, oh wait that's just another glitch.
So once you're out of the training mode, you get to choose your difficulty for level 1, it makes no difference what difficulty you choose, they're all incredibly hard for first timers, even on easy, and on top of that, the glitches aren't in your favor. Anyway, once you do that you're greeted by pseudo comic drawings which is supposedly the storyline whatever.
Once you get to your first enemy, it will take at least 1 minute to beat him, this is in no way an exaggeration, why in fucks name do enemies have to have such a big life bar, and it only gets worse if you choose another difficulty, for instance, if you choose the hardest setting, you can change that minute for 3 minutes PER enemy, some fun, huh? There are also other type of enemies, such as those guys with explosive hunchbacks, they're not bad, but the guys with blades for hands will make your playing experience a painful one (even more than it already is). Once you beat this crap you're greeted by a ranking system, how thoughtful!
Every two levels you get to fight bosses, the boss in level 2 is quite a challenge for beginners, level 6 boss is actually fun to play against, that's about the only thing worth playing about this game. But level 4 boss... God forbid you play this level looking for a fun fight, instead, this level will drive you insane, it takes at least 30 MINUTES to kill this beast (providing you used the fastest strategy to kill him), on the EASIEST setting without any upgrades, and may even take over an hour to kill him on the hardest difficulty without any upgrades...
Boss fights are not exempt from glitches, and they like to show it by freezing the game if you happen to defeat the boss in the left corner of the room, but level four boss takes it up a step and just freezes whenever it feels like it, and it freezes more often than not... I've been a victim of this shit, as have others, this game's glitches do not discriminate! So in conclusion, taking an hour to beat the most boring boss ever only to find that the game is frozen game is NOT FUN!
There are a variety of weapons you can use which vary from guns to swords, there is also a store to upgrade your weapons or status, but the prices are absurd. Why, upgrading your health bar to the max costs at least 106,000! considering each enemy gives you about 50 points, it's going to take a shitload of time to obtain.
Normally, I wouldn't play this atrocity more than once, but because it had medals, and I'm a medal whore, I HAD too. And I did beat it a couple of times and obtained all of the obtainable medals ( yes, even some of the medals were glitched), I shit you not, I spent over 2 days or more of game time trying to beat this shit only to find, a month later that the author removed them because he was to lazy to change three lines of code to fixed the damned thing.
This is, is a literal kick in the balls for me and my fellow stat whore comrades who had to withstand this horrid piece of garbage.
Please, test your games before releasing them to the public.
This deserves a 1/5.
-wismty-