good ^^
i love the animations but like many have said you can make it so the people are less stiff...but other than that lol the humor you have implemented in the video is good and doesnt take away from the experience nice jo once again
Reviews for "Exile Preliminary 3"
Nice!
The movie was great! The graphics, audio and music was all good. I really liked it because the story is getting further in depth and more interesting as it goes. I found it all pretty good and can't wait for the next chapter.
Hopefully it's leading somewhere.
I just read a comment below. I now see where you got your inspiration for your animation style, and I like it. You can see it's anime-inspired without looking like Avatar: The Last Airbender. It's unique in that way.
I'm going to be a harsh critic now.
Your fight scene animations are good, but I think you should practie more on making these moves either more realistic or have the characters less stiff. There should be more fluidity in their movements. But I still like what you've done compared to others, because it's not just a bunch of sword slashes and flashes of light; it's actually a fight.
The characters need to stay consistent with their weapons and hands. In one scene, I'll see a left-handed hold, and in the next scene, it's switched to the right hand.
Your voice acting is great, but it still needs more improvement. Taking a breather might help. Spacing is something that's needed. It might help to have some of the voice actors speak up a little bit more, or articulate a little more. Of course, that's just a small fine touch.
I personally find the characters a little more immature than how I think they should be *yes, I'm opinionated xD*. It's just hard for me to picture people I know around these ages making bets and talking behind someone's back . . . or actually in front of them . . . lol.
Also, in the beginning, Luke has two axes. The application of dual-wielding is significantly different from that of one-handed and double-handed fighting. Is this training taught by Luke's dad? I'm a little weird, and I always wonder how people pick up a weapon and instantly know how to use it *Ninja Gaiden is a good example of that*. It might be a small side-story, but it would still be worth seeing, especially since it doesn't seem like the academy has axes.
I'd like to know who designed a sewer system underneath their weapons facility. Also, they have bombs and such. Stupid question, but why is melee combat heavily focused in the academy?
As for the plot, it's attention-grabbing, but it's moving too slow. You have a great staff that you can work with. You should try to develop this into a network tv show. I'm not trying to get people away from Newgrounds, lol. You have great talent, all of you. How everything is put together is thrilling, but because there's not a lot of time on these chapters, full-length shows would be great.
Beginnings are always hard, because you're trying to bring us, the audience, into this world you've created. I'm looking forward to these next Chapters.
RiverJordan responds:
I love that people are actually writing quality reviews, this is a REALLY good one as well.
First i'll address your point on the characters. They're not so much immature as they are having fun. I like to think of these characters basically like ones in our world, and it doesn't matter what age they're in, they can still have fun and act immature. (As for the elevator spasm.. I like to think Elaine thought that he couldn't hear through the elevator door).
Now, for the axes that is completely different, and YES it is written into the story but much later on, the axe training by the dad was just for strength i would say, that or Luke's dad just wanted some more firewood haha. But his father DID also teach him some basic fighting moves (for sword), and once Luke is IN the Royal Guards, he trains hard (for 4 months, bringing us to where we are now).
Bombs got written into the story a long time ago and I kinda liked it. I'll try to explain that in the story soon without comparing it to our world, but they do NOT have a form of gunpowder that they can use to create guns, the bomb...i'll come up with some sort of hydrogen explination or something i guess, that part WAS poorly constructed, you're right.
As for my staff, its me... I mean, the entire story was written by me, all animated by me, i can't take credit for all though, Morgan King made all of the music, and I have old friends doing voices. Besides that though, I really don't think that i would be able to animate this into a TV Show, without hiring animators for help. I'm fine with newgrounds, it's been good to me so i'm returning that to newgrounds.
Now, for the story i realize that its moving slow, i had a rough start with some chapter lengths i tried not to cut down, (Chapter 2 almost ran until the end of this one, it was too much), so i know that it's moving slow. I promise it picks up starting with this one.
Thank you for the great review, I look forward to reading more reviews by you in the future and I hope this author response can provide some insight to your questions.
-Duchednier
Not Bad
Best thing was the voice acting. Art needs work, but I guess I shouldn't talk. It was long, but I was interested the entire time. I expect as you get more experience the series will vastly improve. Basically I gave it only a six because there's a lot of room for improvement. Good luck I hope to see more.
funny
cute animation and expressions and fantastic 3D camera moovments but the carecters were questinable, eg> the girl had no female figure. eg> a but and boobs.... u get the idea. great job. keep it up