Excellent
Latin chorusing always evokes some emotion. This was a really simple song, but the vocals really, REALLY stood out. You've got an awesome singing voice.
If the vocals translated directly to what you were aiming for, it would've been amazing. Your ideal lyrics have some pull. Unfortunately, I read the direct translation first, and it didn't really conjure up anything for me.
I would say get rid of the direct translations in brackets next to the Latin, and have just the Latin alone and English alone in the description. Knowing the direct translations weakens the song, because it doesn't flow as well.
It's a simple suggestion, but I think it'd make the song better for us ignorant of Latin. Don't worry about the Latin buffs either; they get to feel superior because they know the song doesn't directly translate.
So yeah, just my two cents. Get rid of the translation in brackets. And great job! It's really nice to know people are making such soulful songs.