The flash is good
Yes, the flash is good, the story isn't.
The "game" you play in there would work about 5% of the time in real life, no more. Those money moves were crap to be honest.
Basically you keep pushing her to come to your apartment, get some cocktails TONS of times and you keep reminding her you do NOT want to nail her.
No, that's not a good thing. Every girl knows you want to fuck her when you take her home, and every girl knowingly wants to be fucked when she comes with you. You promising her straight to her face, without blinking you have no intentions will just make her think of you as a cooked out liar. Or plain annoying for constantly nagging her to come to her apartment.
Also, what some people (especially you) seem to be forgetting is that the apartment is the LAST move.
By the time you offer her to come to your apartment she must already be drunk/horny/completely into you. In the game you buy her a drink, dance for a minute and already force the choice of "apartment or nothing" onto her.
Get out there into the game bro, nail some girls for real, if your cute and got a decent game you can get laid every night. It's not hard, i can know :)
NOTE: You do have some of the basics laid out nicely though, like the follow me shit, you do have to mark your territory ;)