Not bad....
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About the middle part where you draw those girls in a way as "mini-charators" it is kind of awkward.
Watch the anime 'Ichigo 100%' (without the quotes ' '), take note of the Ending Theme/Credits on how they draw mini-versions of girls, I beliebe you want to draw them "cute" in a sense of a mini-version of the girls by reference to their "original design and size" and thus what I think is that you had trouble trying to draw their breasts smaller or you just actually want it to be that way...
*Incase you don't want to watch the anime I suggested... than I'll just say it here on how you can improve on your drawings on cute mini-girls design. You dont draw their breasts, yes, skip that part and it'll look better... they won't look like their clothes/shirt is too small for them to wear..... thats the part I find very awkward..*
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I've heard better.. sorry..
The music... is a pain to my ears. But anyway good job on trying to make one anyway ^_^
Not much help on sounds/musics here, but you could defiently improve on your drawing, I hope you take that suggestion for it though.
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