Reviews for Feioras Story Part 2

[Relixa]

good job, quite impressive. really.

*cough cough* yes the animation is quite good, but let's have a look at facts:
Graphics, 6: well done, even dough they weren't exactly the kind i really liked that much, it still pretty well covered the whole thing with it's amaizing details.
Style, 10: good call on the style! THIS is like animations should be made. unlike some original strawberry clock b shit and stuff, less effort - more effor +
Sound, 7: it wasn't half bad, but there was something in it that just...ennoyed me. a lot. i don't remember which part dough.
Violence, 5: i could'nt decide. - there wasn't too much of it, neither was there too little of it. but at least some was to be expected...
Interactivity, 7: technical side was a little crappy, but hey...we all screw up sometime.
Humor, 2: are you kidding me? there was none. but due category blah blah blah, and weird laughter, i put 2. 'nuff said.
Overall, 7: good job!! work like this rare on the flash portal these days. come to think of it, good artists and people who make this stuff are quite rare too...but can't say it was bad though. hey, i may not be be a flash animator myself, (maybe at least not yet, due to missing flash and drawing skills...)but still i just give out reviews. good luck! i'll be expecting more from you, as im keeping my eye on you. (seeing as you'll be one of my favourite authors)

merit44 responds:

Wow! I am pleased that you even think this is remotely good ^^ To be honest I was expecting the worst comming from newgrounds but some of you really do make me want to keep producing *QUALITY* works here. I will take notes on your critisizm and make sure the third one refelects it ^^

[xxKillerKittyxx]

hmmm

okay, first of all, you need to learn how to accept criticism, either a little harsh or constructive.
on the flash, welll...it seemed like you kept changing the drawing style. One second, it would be a simple "Paint" sort of drawing...then suddenly they are running on uberly cool 3-D looking legs. The story-line leaves something to be desired...like a more detailed explanation...I have no idea what was going on. Okay...someone died...then three days ago two people were running up to a building where their husband/father was? I'm hoping the continuation explains the rest...

merit44 responds:

LoL! Dude I happen to be a graphic artist working for an agency on 23st in manhattan so I am quite capable of acdepting critiszm. My big thing is don't just say this freakin sucks without giving me some way to measure how to make it better. You would be pretty fusterated if you worked on something all day then some one just says "I hope you didn't draw that piece od Sugar Honey Ice Tea" cause what comes out of my @$$ looks better than that! Also if you hate a freakin idea do you really think I want to know that? I don't expect everyone to like what I do but damn don't just come straight out and make bias @$$ statments then expect me to just bite my tounge. I don't even take that Sugar Honey Ice Tea from my art director and She is a Boring Insubordanate Tense Hoe. I appreciate all the feed back I recieve positive or negitive just don't say stupud ignorant @$$ statements without any real substance or explanation to back it up is all I ask.Thankyou very much btw for shareing the positive and the negitives. I can actually grown from this review ^^

[Iron-Mole]

Pretty cool concept.

I like what you're trying to do, and the fresh style you're giving us to watch. But your so bad at creating scenes for the audience. I felt like everything wizzed by too fast with no explanation and such.

merit44 responds:

Sorry you felt that way. I felt that certain things should be subliminal and that the audience would think it through and draw there conclusions based upon those conclusions but I guess its better to just spell everything out so we can avoid all this confusion.

[ViciousJonny]

Good work but continue to push it

I'm not really sure if my comments will be worthwile after reading all the others and viewing your responses to them, but I decided that perhaps I could be of just some assistance. Firstly, we'll start with graphics and get those out of the way. Like what everyone else have said, you've got these beautifully rendered 3D models side by side with poorly drawn characters. I realize Flash is difficult and since you've been doing 3D modeling or rotoscoping, etc I assume you know how to use it so what I can only guess is why some of figures are so poorly drawn is because you ran out of time. And since you're a graphic designer, its obvious that you at least know what is compisitionally correct, ie what the picture looks like and if it gets the point across. But what this story lacks is clarity, it doesn't get the point across and this will be your downfall no matter how stunning the graphics are. Having recently completed my first serious short film, I guess I can now call myself a filmmaker (sorry I prefer video to flash), so when I tell you this I can back it up with some experience.
When you said that you don't take shit from your art director I wonder if you realize that's what you lack, art direction. Think about how your shot is telling the story. A picture is worth at thousand words and you've got hundreds of them so use every one to your advantage. You wonder how to make your characters more interesting and deep? Start off by allowing the picture to do that for you, think of each shot as a painting. A painting gets the job done and as a graphic designer you should know this since you too have to convey an idea even in the colors you use. The colors by the way are cool, that's why I gave you an 8 for style because the colors are really just an expression of your style but can also tell the mood of the story.
Characterization is really something lacking as well, think about each one of your characters even the ones that don't appear for a while. Come up with a history for each character and see if you can't allow that history to show up through your character's actions and dialogue. And as for voice acting, try what the creator of Xombie did and hire some voice actors, I know its hard finding actors but you live in New York. Put up some flyers or something. And look at other's work as well. Don't think just because you're on Newgrounds and you're creating a flash doesn't mean that your work's shortcomings are going to be just generally accepted. Make the best of your resources and put as much effort as you humanly can. If you truly care about what you're doing, you and Newgrounds will thank you for it.

[IceDragon64]

Potentialy very good art

Arien quest part 3:

What to say that hasn't already been said?
I will just quickly go over a few things to reinforce them_
-the mix of art styles didn't work
-the art IS good/ very good/great- mixed!
-there is a good story in there, but not all that well told. Your preview thing is NOT what you should call 'Part 1.' It is not an episode with a proper story leading you up to where you are now. It was not wise to put this in without retitling Pt 1 if that is what you want people to see as a story. As I said before, most of us come here primarily to be entertained, when it comes to voting, only the reviewer types, like me are here to really judge and assess things. "Pt 1" is very different in style and does not really explain things well. You should not have to explain your storyline in the notes- this is a movie and it should not be submitted if it isn't ready to tell its own story. If you really want people to see part 1 first, you should say so and put a hyperlink in an intro in the movie as well- in this case your 'part 1' would not explain anything- its just a glimpse of the story from a different point of view.

The animation in the coffin scene is MUCH poorer than the other parts- even I could do as well and I dont brag about being an animator like you do. If you will assert yourself that much in the notes people will bring you down- lol- and I am, believe it or not, still on your side!- read on!

this whole project has good potential- but each time you haven't got it together- you have dropped into NG thinking that becuase we are mostly amateurs and scribblers you can put in all your test work in bits and pieces and sit back and listen to the Wow!'s

Go back through your reviews again- there's piles of information in there- even the hostile ones mostly gave reasons- just ignore the "your crap" ones- you know your not, I know your not and most of Newgrounds can see your skill and potential.
However, as finished, submitted work you MUST realise that your work leaves a lot to be desired and people like Xwayne- the TOP reviewer on NG wouldnt bother if he didn't think it was good.

NEVER put 6 foot of rant in the notes again- you ASK for argument by doing so- just put a little note saying- 'honest, constructive reviews will be appreciated and replied to- thanks" and leave it at that!
Remeber, most people voting each time have NEVER HEARD OF YOU BEFORE! and they've never seen your work NG has thousands of people who drop by every day- You ARE a good artist but you don't know Jack Sh1t about NG, my friend. The first thing they see is your notes.
NEVER tell your reviewers what aspects they should or shouldn't review you on- If you feel that their opinions are a matter of taste and they don't interest you then say so politely and move on- don't stoop to their level! ALWAYS leave it a few minutes before replying- remember the whole world will see your reply and its YOUR work that is in judgement, not theirs.
NEVER challange reviewers to do flash, its sounds childish and insecure- if Tom Fulp wanted only those who submit Flash to be able to review he would have made it so. There are thousands of film critics all over the world from local newspapers to national television and NONE of them are film directors.

By now you must be ready to hit me, but have faith- I began by telling you your good and you have much potential- at the end of pt 3 of my quest I repeat the same.

We on NG have protected a set of your movies through the portal, given you average review scores of around 6-8, and A+ rating, a portal award and lots of review information. Strings of people have reassured you of what you already know- that you do good work and most of us have taken our volunteer time to try and help you in our amatuer way despite the fact that you haven't submitted a single solid, complete, start to finish movie for us to sit back watch and be entertained by, YET!
Best Wishes,
IceDragon64