dude it was kinda off
u used sreck music, and u arent supposed to use crap like"any1" in poetry, butr other than that it was great event though it was a tree frame movie clip and some text
Reviews for "FOR EVERYONE"
If you truly wish to pursue the literary arts...
The animation, though brief and looped, was nicely done. Indeed, the brief nature of the entire piece kept the loop from getting too old, too fast. Thus, you earn a seven for graphics.
You made an excellent choice in music, as well. I like the music to Shrek, lame as that may sound. I recognized it immediately. Fiona's melody has an elegance to it that I feel went along with the theme of your written piece very nicely. Again, decently done here: seven for sound.
As far as your written piece itself is concerned, well...I understand what you were going for, but there was one very big obstacle towards really appreciating your efforts:
If you truly wish to pursue the literary arts, then you'd probably want to seriously consider freeing yourself of that nasty "Internet Shorthand" habit. I've learned to tolerate it in others during casual conversation; they insist on expediency and convenience, so I go ahead and try to decode their secret, excessively abbreviated language.
If, however, you use it so often that the sheer habitual nature of it breaks into your serious, formal, writing, I would recommend cutting back on it excessively. Understand that when communicating purely through text, people can't hear the voice in your mind. They can't hear what you INTENDED your written works to sound like, they can only read what you've written, and it will sound exactly as you've written it. If it looks like a crazed chimpanzee on crack typed it up, that's how it's going to read. Your piece, by the way, did not sound like a crazed chimpanzee on crack...I'm merely making a point via exaggeration.
When you forget yourself, forget that you are writing something serious, and use abbreviations such as "ur," "u," and "any1" in a formal piece of writing, it SERIOUSLY detracts from what you are trying to say. I understand that you yourself are accustomed to it, and you may not be able to see it, but for almost anyone else who doesn't spend the majority of their days in America Online chatrooms, it's not going to look good. It has a way of looking immature, uneducated, and lazy. I'm accusing you of none of thos qualities; that's merely the perception that such informal language creates.
I don't think that you don't know how to write out the word "you" in it's entirety; I just think you've done it as "u" for so long that you forget you're doing it. It can't be that way forever. If you're serious about being a writer, I'd recommend a real effort to totally eliminate it from your formal writings, and to seriously cut back on it in your casual conversation. You'll sound a lot better, your points will have a lot more clarity, you will be easier to understand, and (put quite simply), you will LOOK a lot better.
Once I mentally corrected the Internet shorthand in your poem, it was a lot easier for me to appreciate it. By all means, do what your heart and mind tells you, and if I've offended you, then there's no need to listen...just consider it. Your art will be better for it. "u" and "thx" don't look good, or smart, or artistic. They're just plain wrong for this.
Not bad, well written
congrats to ya that poem was very well written......
Hmm
A 7, not bad.
I liked the poem, and the graphics are fine.
Too bad it isn't a real flash 'movie'..
very nice
I liked the poem.