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Reviews for "Van Helthing: volume 1"

eugh

that was just bad, I can see you had a lot of material for jokes, but you didnt implement them very well. Here are me criticisms and complime--... my criticisms:
I don't see why the scientist should have a katana, even if it IS "conveniently placed" i would have gone with "rediculously huge bastard sword that weedy scientist cannot lift"; the communist joke could have been good, if you had done it right, i mean you waited too long for the villager to start taling and then didn't wait long enough for it to be effective when the cricket sound effects kick in and thus the communist line, etc. I also saw no reaction from the crowd when he delivered that line, so it was irrelevant; van's voice was way too quiet; the leprachaun's dance was stupid, irrelevant and unfunny, total anti-climax; the "level up!" wou;d have been funny if you had gone with the whole deal of turn-based RPGs in that, they don't have a conversation hen the leprachaun dies and then it says: "5410EXP gained, Level Up!, you found ruby ring, sunscreen, edible choco-lantern, houseguest and monkey fantrin!" etc.; the alcahol joke was just awful, what were you on? and on top of that, the response was clich'ed and overused and done badly (it could have been better if it had been done rite); when helthing starts talking about vampires and gargoyles, he goes on too long, and he ends on something believable (warlock) when he's just said "n00b", which detractsd from the joke. You can either keep it short:
"vampires, warlocks...... *n00bs*"
or go on forever, but no one will like you; and fnally, the nerd joke was just bad, it was done much beter in "one ring to rule them all - Special edition"

it was ok...

I only liked one part of the whole movie.That part was when van helthing did the final fantasy stance thing with the music and level up.other than that i dident like it.

wow..no think ill never get that 10 minutes back..

no comment on this one sorry man there was no comedy at all

And I thought that Van Helsing was a bad film...

This was awful.
The art and graphics are laughable. Even South Park's art/graphics owns your ass.

And where did you get the awful music? Except the Final Fantasy "Vistory Theme"...

This basically follows the Van Helsing plotline (which was pathetic) and therefore, this film does not have material to work with. In order to make a "working" parody, one must use material that is good; not bad. The Matrix Trilogy, bad material (due to the second and third films being the two worst films of all time); the LOTR trilogy, bad material (awful films, especially for those who have read the novel - yes, it's was originaly only one novel); Van Helsing, bad material; Blade 2, bad material.
Lost in Translation, good material; Mystic River, good material; Citizen Kane, good material; Dark City, good material.

Do you see the point?
I am only trying to help because I am in the film business, along with my writing.

boring

rigid animation, full of clichés, not funny