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Reviews for "Cyrptic Temple"

my story.

Heres my story,

I walk in, as I realize its a result of my foolishness, I turn on the camera, but the battery shortens out. I had full battery when I was going in. I went upstairs, there was blood smeared everywhere it was horrible. I go to look for something useful, no luck, you turn back to leave. Only to find the door boarded shut with blood all over I hear a sound and I'm compelled to walk toward it there are picture frames on the wall, with no pictures in them, odd. This makes me know how brave i am, none of my friends wanted to come with me, you think as you walk closer and closer to the sound. There are bodies and blood all over, you forget about it, the sound gets louder, The lights go out, you see a face, white as a ghost, your on the verge of fainting from the sights you've seen, its torture! I scream as I drop to my knees, I start to prey to god that I'll survive. With no light to see, you walk, you try the camera again. Full battery! I shouted! You start filming with night vision on, the sound gets closer. Almost sounding inhuman now, you get scared, you are now in a very narrow hallway right now. Even more blood and bodies here, you find a mirror, you look in, you don't see yourself, but you see the little boy and fall to the floor, you pass out of fear. You wake up the next morning, there is no blood or bodies and the door is unlocked. Perhaps it's your imagination, or that happened. What do you think? leave a response and tell me!

punk7890 responds:

Great! I liked it. :)

Thanks for the review!

Trapped

Very dark feeling song.

You enter the temple alone as you have no friends who wanted to come with you or any friends at all for that matter. You walk forth seeing images and a bit of dry and rusted blood on the walls of the temple. Maybe people were sacrificed to some deity here at one point?

You keep walking forth with a heavy feeling of uneasiness and in the distance you feel like you hear someone whispering to you begging you to come and help them. You slowly walk forth and keep going. You want to know what happened here to make people no longer wish to enter it.

You make your way even further in and step on a rigged stone tile on the floor. As it goes down a bit you hear something open in the distance. Stepping off you hear it close. You push a pedestal over onto it to keep that distant door open. You walk forth a bit more and see the door that had opened as there was heavy dust coming from the door.

You walk into it and cough a bit while slightly choking on the smell. The faint whispering voice seems to be getting a bit louder now as you keep pushing your way forward. You wonder what could possibly be alive there or was it an audio tape someone left on and it is somehow looping.

You could care less and keep on pushing forth. The sounds of the temple don't seem to bother you either. Being alone as made you feel comfortable around sounds like this or anything at all for that matter. As you go deeper in you notice the walls closing in a bit as you keep going forth. Turning around you see the faint light from where you entered. You walk backwards a bit noticing the walls are getting narrower as they were designed to have that look and the light gets fainter and fainter the further away from it you walk.

"Will you help me?", you hear a voice, the one that had been faint sound even closer.

Walking forth after turning around you still see nothing and hear a light laughter that almost makes you want to vomit for some reason. As you get further in, the walls become so narrow you have to walk on your side and enter a new room that is huge.

All that you see though is a few items. You turn around the light is no longer visible as something as moved the pedestal forcing you to stay inside. Something in the room will hopefully let you leave though. You look at the items and notice only one has no dust on it. You examine the other items first noticing they are vases or small cat statues or people from the past.

You walk to the undusty item standing on a pedestal and notice in poorly written hand writing that it says "Do not open.... if you wish to leave."

The words shake you a bit as you say them. You wonder what is in it.

"Please, help me. I have been stuck in here for a long time. Release me, and I can help you leave alive. Those words, those words are written by something else living here wishing to keep me trapped in this box forever. It stole my body and has been holding onto it for a few millenniums now. I just want my body back...."

You look at it and faintly hear something whisper to you in fear to leave the box closed. You look around and see nothing though. You begin to slowly open the small chest and hear a loud scream from behind you. You close the chest and look behind you.

"Who's there?!"

...no answer....

You begin to open it again and feel a tap on your shoulder.

"DON'T OPEN IT!", the creature yells at you. It looks slightly human, "That thing speaks lies! It is a cursed creature that feasts upon humans and steals their bodies. Ever since I watched my friend get killed and absorbed by that thing, I have lived here since making sure no one opens it... ever!"

"I have a better idea!", you say, "If it can do that. Let's take it out, chain it up and drop it in the middle of the ocean where no one can ever open it again."

It nods and leaves the room again. You wait for weeks and see nothing. You slowly open the box and see white eyes staring at you as if pleasing to be freed. You open it and feel a surge of power within you. Somehow you feel powerful.... and free....

punk7890 responds:

Thanks for your story!

trippy