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Listen, This is only my second "real" movie so i'm kindda an amature. plz don't be to harsh with you're reviews.
First of all let me say, this movie is NOT for everyone.... not everyone would like it and some may say its pointless. I don't think it is but... so be it.
Just Fyi, I didn't "envent" the plot, it's a knowen folk mith or something about a woman-deamon that lures ppl into her house and kills them. I just made it into a flsh with a music.
Don't watch if you find blood disguadting
i think you did good for a begginer i love the song and would love to kno wht it is so if you could tell me that would be great =)
alright, i know this is like two years late but here are some tips. i dont know if you wrote this but if you did then i think you did a rather good job there. i mean its short and amaturish but if you tweek the story a little and make it longer it would improve the whole movie. You might actually be a pro by now. i havnt checked to see if you've done anything new. I hope you did because this one had potential and i think you could go somewhere with animating if you kept with it.
I'm not trying to be mean, but this really does need ALOT of work. I know it's your second animation, so let me give you some advice.
- The blood was very red and unrealistic.
-The house was super empty and just..add like a table or something.
-When the woman slits the other..please put the slit at the Jugular Vein (At the neck)
-It looks very rushed and just...sloppy.
- With alot of practice and care, you can really Remake this Flash into something wonderful.
- Everything happened too quickly, the Victims didn't struggle or anything..
- This flash needed more scenes
- What was so hypnotizing about her breath? It probably would have been better if her victim had seen her body of some sort and she could have taken him to her house and them kill them.
-The myth you are talking about is a Succubus( I believe someone already said it), so make her have some Sexual Appeal.
- As the person before me said, it is impossible for that pool of blood. It probably would have been better to have blood STAINS.
-Why didn't the people have any hands? They just had like...long sleeves. Also, "Tamara's" nose was kinda..out of proportion from her body.
- Give them some emotions...it'll help greatly (Mostly for the guy who gets killed)
This flash has alot of potential and with the right training, it will get better. I say you preview Flashes like this so you can understand what you need to fix or take out. I hope to see a remake of this Flash..
Practice some more first
I'm going to be brutally honest here, simply because I think you need proper criticism if you're going to ever get better. This is a bad animation okay? It may serve its purpose, but it could be better - much better. Here's how:
1. Spend more time in the graphics. Unless you're really good at drawing on the computer, try drawing by hand and scanning the images. The graphics on this are awful. Really, really awful. Yes, you may be an amatuer, but don't use it as an excuse for bad animation - if you're an amatuer, you practice so much that you get good. So try a different method of drawing, because this is completely unrealistic.
2. Try using several shots rather than one for an action, such as when she is dragging the body across the room it was incredibly boring. Close-ups, different angles, everything now is very 2D and painful to watch.
3. Scenery is a big thing. Her house is appalling; again I will suggest actually drawing it and scanning it, because currently everything looks like you just threw something together on Paint. Her walls inside are bad, bad, bad - try putting in lines for bricks or something to make it a little more realistic. And the main room is appallingly empty. A couch and a painting? C'mon, you can do better than that. I'm not saying crowd it, just get rid of some of the space and add shadows so it doesn't look like a massive, empty warehouse thing. I'm assuming her house is supposed to be a manor of some kind - well if so, look at the insides of actually manors first.
4. Story-wise...well...the story itself is obvious enough but it is incredibly flawed. Your characters are expressionless zombies, give them something to make them seem slightly more alive please. And add something more to the guy, he just wanders in there and dies - it's not creepy or even interesting. It is physically impossible to kill someone by slitting open their forehead, if you haven't noticed, there is a rather hard piece of bone there. If you want to kill from there, you need something to smash with. Go for the throat, or be slightly new and strangle him. Make him put up a fight. Also, blood coagulates (thickens and dries so it is no longer a liquid) out of the body, so despite it being a good idea, the pool of blood is somewhat implausible.
5. Body movements are unrealistic and stiff. Practice, practice, practice!
I will say good choice of music though, but let me add that is the only thing I like about this. You have the right idea, but you carried it out badly. There is really only one thing that can make you better and that is practice! Try to refrain from posting this stuff on Newgrounds until you get better - people will appreciate you a lot more if you do.
Was alright for an amture :) it dident make much sence but it was pretty ok,
if the grapics were better and it was a bit longet would have been good
Blue Pencilmate meets Red Pencilmate, but things don't go so well...
While taking the day off work, Lloyd and Glynis take in a movie
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