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Jul 31, 2001 | 11:08 PM EDT
  • Daily Feature August 2, 2001

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Author Comments

In the NES game parody of ours, Simon is back in town after killing Dracula in Castlevania 2... but now he finds that the priest won't even restore his health! It's quite obvious that this shit-talkin' priest needs to be taught a lesson or two!

Controls are:
Z = Jump
X = Whip
Click or Spacebar = Start

(if you have problems controlling the character, just click on the game and the problem will resolve itself

And don't forget to return to town after you beat the game, because there's a "Secret Button" on your keyboard that you'll DEFINITELY want to push while you're in town! >:) You WILL need to CLOSE THE WINDOW and re-open the game to return to town just so you know. And you DON'T have to beat the game to access the secret item, but isn't it more fun to save it for last? And it doesn't tell you what the secret button is, you gotta figure out that for yourself! ;)

Enjoy the blasphemy of Priest Battle!
If you want to play it without the newgrounds pop-up ads or download it, you can get it at:
http://www.I-Mockery.com/minimocks/Castlevania

Reviews


growaliensgrowaliens

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars November 15, 2003

NES-tastic!!

Wow! Everything that I wished for in the original!!! Right down to beating Gods kid with a whip! Way to show Konami how it's done!!


People find this review helpful!

CommanderX1125CommanderX1125

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars August 4, 2007

HAHAHA!!

Well it took me about 6 tries, but I finally killed Jesus! The secret to victory is simple really, you just jump to the side that had the bombs placed first as soon as they both blow. You then wait for the second volley and repeat the process. That is you jump from the left platform to the right, waiting for the bombs on the left to blow, and as soon as they do you jump back, and vice versa. After he does 2 volleys of bombs you wait on the left platform and whip him good, and if you do it right, you can inflict 3 health levels of damaged every round. This method will take you 3-4 rounds depending on your timing and luck. There is also a second way to avoid the bombs but this is much harder, but effective, making you only jump over the gap once per set. You do the same as the last method, jumping from the left platform to the right, waiting for the bombs that land on the left to blow, and then jump to that side. You then move to the very last block on the left side, and you will be safe to wait it out for Jesus to do a dive at you and allowing you to whip him. I do have to warn you, when using the second method, after whipping Jesus, you need to move a little to your left to give yourself time to jump to the right platform to repeat the whole process over again. Also, if done improperly, you will die from the bomb blast because it will send you into the water, keep that in mind. Oh yes, and lest I forget, you need to make sure you jump as soon as the bomb blows, or else the bomb you will be standing next to will detonate, tossing you to the watery death below.


People find this review helpful!

HoodoozerHoodoozer

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars December 13, 2007

wuuh?

look dude, good game and everything but i just dont like the idea of whipping jesus, even if it is in a game, i mean the preist thing ive got no problem with, which is weird and its good and everything but come on!


People find this review helpful!

Yngwie-Rock-29Yngwie-Rock-29

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars August 14, 2001

That was ok but..........

Overall it was a very similar copy to the orig. castlevania. Everything was really easy except Jesus (you shouldnt kill Jesus in the first place) By the way ASTERIX is the SECRET KEY!!


People find this review helpful!

SonixDragon2001SonixDragon2001

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars December 14, 2002

Somethings Up

yes this game gets a 7 But theres one thing that messes it up

The FrameRate - Its So bad That I cannot Jump properly and i cannot Predict properly of Movement
u know games these days are Demandin high requirements yet the designers of flash games gotta smooth things out a bit Only then This will be perfect... Ps.... U might as well want to Jump and use the Whip while in the Air.