Aside from spelling errors, this is a great start!

besides the spelling ( and tails being raped ) it was ok.

alright well. i watched this, and after seeing comparisons to "links quest for ass" for one of the more recent parts. it is very funny. but the writing could have been a lot better. outside of the spelling mentioned by Asalph, I mean does everyone have to talk like some sort of internet noob? Just randomly cussing and saying people are gay, etc? I haven't watched the other parts yet but hopefully the dialogue is a bit more tolerable. But ya did good with this one. I just decided to give you one more point for Slippy getting pwned.

At first, I was thinking this would be a shitball (no offenses). But actually it's really cool. xD
I think you should take care with your writing. I mean, you misspelled lots of things, like Lylat (you wrote Laylat twice or more) and liquor (you wrote liqouir).
Slippy getting dragged into the space and the computer saying "ur fucked" totally rocked. xD

Keep up the good job. I'm off to watch the other ones.

that was great!