SPOILER WARNING!!!
SPOILER WARNING!!!
SPOILER WARNING!!!
SPOILER WARNING!!!
SPOILER WARNING!!!
SPOILER WARNING!!!
SPOILER WARNING!!!
SPOILER WARNING!!!
I just saw cloverfield with my brother, who just made a smaller shitty thread.
That's right, I got to see it before you Americans do.
Now, what went on:
Starts out like it does in the trailer, they're all getting ready for the main guy's going away party
and his friend is filming everything so he can watch it when he gets to japan. The main character turns up and it's all party and laughs for about 10 minutes. Then everything goes abit emo when
his girlfriend/old friend/whatever comes in with another guy beacuse he never rang her or whatever...anyways.
He, his brother and the filmer are in his room being emo and suddenly BANG!
There's an earthquake like thing and all the lights flicker on and off. Everyone is screaming and
saying stupid shit. They turn on the news just to see some crap about earthquake reports and a big oil tanker that just blew up in the harbour. They decide to go up to the roof beacuse some dork goes
"oh hey, that's close, lets go look"
So the fucktards go up to the roof and shit is exploding and fireballs are fucking everything up.
They freak out and run out to the street and the statue of libertie's head flys past, building fall over, they run around like idiots.
Then you see your first glimpse of the monster.
The face actually looks like it does when you mirror the poster, so I guess that wasn't bullshit.
So they freak out some more and run around. Just remember all of this is filmed with
a small handycam, so think blair witch but actually good.
They decide to try and cross the bridge to safety, half way across the monster destroys it and the main character's brother dies, infact, he's the first to die straigt up out of all the poeple on the bridge.
Owned.
The camera guy throws out one liners and alot of actual funny lines. They meet the military, they're
geting fucking destroyed and nothing is even scratching the monster, at this point they're using tanks and rocket launhers.
So our gang runs down into the subway and everyone freaks out for abit beacuse people are dying and his mum rings and he has to tell her his brother died, ich is actually pretty sad.
They decide to walk the lines out of the city. Bad idea.
Earlier there was a news report of things dropping off the monster and then attacking people. They look like little star-ship troopers bugs with more legs. So they're in the subway and they start to hear wierd noises and see rat running away so one of the girls goes "Hey! turn on the night vision!".
Aso soon as it's flicked on you see the little things al over the roof, so... "Run, RUN!!"
They get attacked, the camera man's love intrest gets bitten, they escape all alvive.
Ok, breather...
They escape to a little side room and are just freaking out, making jokes and looking out bad the bite is. Then the gang decides to go outside and they come up in a shopping center of ome sort, meet the military and are fine for about five minutes. People are screaming and hurt and some soldier gets wheeled past witha burst open chest.
The girl who got bitten then started bleeding from everwhere. The doctors freak out and drag her behind a curtain, you see her expand, then BAM, blood explodsion. Totaly awesome.
So they freak out some more and decide to go try and rescure the main character's girlfriend, wich is the only reason the stupid fuckers are still in the city.
One of the army guys lets them go and tells them to be back by 0600 to get the chopper out before the city is nuked.
They walk around some more, see the monster some more.
They get there and find her building is destroyed mostly and is leaning onto another so they decide
to climb the good one and find a way over to the girlfriend's place.
Well, they do and they find her on her floor, with a steel rod through her shoulder. They take her back and on the way the main character takes some time to be awesome and kill one of the bug things with a fire axe.
The monster comes over and hits the building and makes them freak out and run abit more.
They get to the chopper and one of the gang gets to go, the rest have to wait for the next one.
DUN DUN DUH!
So the monster is closing in and the next chopper comes and picks them up, they floy off abit.
You see the monster walking around making sure shit is ruined and a bomber comes and hits it afew times. There's smoke, celebrations.
Then it jumps out of the smoke, sitll ok and chomps the chopper, screaming, crash.
The three remaiing people survive atill pretty much unhurt appart from a broken leg, the piolots are fucked. I guess the crashed in centeral park.
Then as they're walking, suddenly the girlfriend screams, camera guy turns around and there it is. You get a really good look at it, up and down. Then he gets mauled and it walks off. The main character picks up the camera and they run abit more. They take shelter under a little bridge and cry, record thier last words, then the bomb goes off.
END!
Ok so afew things:
-The monster is hard to describe. It's got four arms, two are comming out of it's chest. A big tail and two legs. It's head has two expandy looking sacks on it and I guess it breathes through.
The head is kind of a cross between predator and a snapping turtle. You'd have to go see it to get a proper look.
- A TWIST! The only person out of the group to survive is the black girl. I'm not bieng racist at all. It's a fact that the black people usually die first up untill recently. Though I guess they are the first poeple you see looting....so, they didn't get out without some 4chan style giggles.
- It's liek blair witch as in it's supposed to be a recoverd tape so it switches back between the main movie and kis day with his girlfriend in gaps.
- Beacuse it's from the perspective of just some randoms you NEVEr find out what the hell it is. You NEVER find out where it came from and the move ends when the bombs go off you you don't know if it died. I smell a sequal or book...or something.
All in all I give it a 7.5 wins out of 10.
I probably haven't explained very well so ask questions ad I'll try to fill in gaps.
R.I.P LIVECORPSE
