Jerking off to girls you know.

[FUNKbrs]

So I met this extra hot chick at a buddies house after a two day bender while I was showing a chick friend of mine a poem I posted on the BBS about eating puppies. And when I say extra hot, I mean EXTRA hot.

Needless to say, I totally used her for a wank fantasy.

Anyways, she's from a goth club where I go to dance with hot chicks (don't fucking judge me. I dance because I'm an attention whore, and because I don't like staring at the chicks all night like I'm in some kind of strip joint. Well, that and they don't hump you if you don't go over there).

Now, here's where it gets weird;

She totally banged the crap out of me.

I mean, like, it's almost as if I willed it to happen. She even had a boyfriend at the time. I flat out admited she was my fantasy girl, and she got extra hot over it.

Now, I'm not the world's most attractive guy, and by that I mean I'm at least 30 pounds overweight. I'm an extra smooth talker, but still, this girl was Playboy hot. I mean, hottest chick in the club hot.

So... jerking off to girls you might actually have sex with as opposed to porn stars can actually get you laid. I think. Or maybe just telling chicks they're your fantasy girl is enough, just make sure it's true.

Hey look guys, I'm on pain meds from my surgery. \/\/007!!111!!1

[lnstinct]

Wait, did you get laid or not? I think I may have misunderstood something in that post.

IN B4 PICS OR GTFO

[Luxury-Yacht]

Funk, you're my fantasy girl.

[Ted-Easton]

At 4/22/07 10:47 AM, FUNKbrs wrote: So... jerking off to girls you might actually have sex with as opposed to porn stars can actually get you laid. I think.
Or maybe just telling chicks they're your fantasy girl is enough, just make sure it's true.

As long as you're telling them the latter. Somehow "I jerk off to you" just doesn't have the same ring to it.

[Jackrabbit-slims]

gratz gg

[DarkPhazon]

Well, I have a gf so I honestly have no comment here......

[Monocrom]

Don't take this the wrong way, Bro but...... is it possible she had an arguement with her boyfriend, and just used you to make him jealous?

If you're not in love with her, and it was just a lust-filled good time for you; hey, way to go Bro! W00t!!

[FUNKbrs]

At 4/22/07 10:51 AM, lnstinct wrote: Wait, did you get laid or not? I think I may have misunderstood something in that post.

IN B4 PICS OR GTFO

Yeah, she actually slept with me. Strangley enough, in the middle of three day bender I was on. But she had a boyfriend at the time so um.... yeah, no pics. Dumbass. I was a little busy, what with the sex and all.

At 4/22/07 10:51 AM, Luxury-Yacht wrote: Funk, you're my fantasy girl.

Oh shit, really? That's so fucking hot......

Is it just me, or is it hot in here? Let me take off my pants.......

[lnstinct]

At 4/22/07 10:54 AM, FUNKbrs wrote: Yeah, she actually slept with me. Strangley enough, in the middle of three day bender I was on. But she had a boyfriend at the time so um.... yeah, no pics. Dumbass. I was a little busy, what with the sex and all.

Pics or gtfo.

)

[FUNKbrs]

At 4/22/07 10:54 AM, Monocrom wrote: Don't take this the wrong way, Bro but...... is it possible she had an arguement with her boyfriend, and just used you to make him jealous?

Probably. I was getting that kind of vibe. Still, this chick was WAY out of my league.

If you're not in love with her, and it was just a lust-filled good time for you; hey, way to go Bro! W00t!!

I know. That's why I'm trying to spread the word. It probably didn't hurt that she knew me as a poet and a musician first, though.

[Luxury-Yacht]

At 4/22/07 10:54 AM, FUNKbrs wrote:

At 4/22/07 10:51 AM, Luxury-Yacht wrote: Funk, you're my fantasy girl.

Oh shit, really? That's so fucking hot......

Is it just me, or is it hot in here? Let me take off my pants.......

And a pain-medicated orgy was had by all.

[SlipperyMooseCakes]

You should have told her you're a moderator on the Newgrounds BBS. She would have been all like "lol, forget my faggot ass boyfriend I LOVE a man with power!"

At least ten sexings that night alone.

[SuperFlonic]

Well, I told my (former) girlfriend my fantasies.
That's the day I became single again D:

[FUNKbrs]

At 4/22/07 10:58 AM, SlipperyMooseCakes wrote: You should have told her you're a moderator on the Newgrounds BBS. She would have been all like "lol, forget my faggot ass boyfriend I LOVE a man with power!"

At least ten sexings that night alone.

Actually, I did. I think I gave her some free stickers, too. The poem I wrote I had posted as a topic earlier somewhere in General. No shit.

[Grind]

So you slept with her and jacked off to her, nice.

[Dry-Ice]

Could we, maybe see a picture of her?

[CruzAzul-19]

put some pictures so that we could all see her hotness

[Cosmonautical]

At 4/22/07 10:58 AM, SuperFlonic wrote: Well, I told my (former) girlfriend my fantasies.
That's the day I became single again D:

Did you happen to tell her about fantasies of other women?

And congrats, FUNK! I hope your new philosophy spreads.

[HiniberusDelius]

At 4/22/07 11:08 AM, CruzAzul-19 wrote: put some pictures so that we could all see her hotness

*Pulls down zipper*

Well I'm waiting for the pic... my cock is getting cold so you better get a pic of her soon...

[FUNKbrs]

At 4/22/07 11:13 AM, HiniberusDelius wrote:

At 4/22/07 11:08 AM, CruzAzul-19 wrote: put some pictures so that we could all see her hotness

*Pulls down zipper*

Well I'm waiting for the pic... my cock is getting cold so you better get a pic of her soon...

What part of "SHE WAS CHEATING ON HER BOYFRIEND" don't you dumb fuckers understand? Next request for a pic gets banned. This aint the fucking porn forum.

[LordZeebmork]

At 4/22/07 11:22 AM, FUNKbrs wrote: This aint the fucking porn forum.

Wait... Newgrounds has a porn forum? Where?

nah, 4chan's /s/ is better than any porn Newgrounds can dig up.

[SlipperyMooseCakes]

At 4/22/07 10:59 AM, FUNKbrs wrote:

Actually, I did. I think I gave her some free stickers, too. The poem I wrote I had posted as a topic earlier somewhere in General. No shit.

Well then expect at least a feel of her ass or breasts sometime soon.

[Luxury-Yacht]

At 4/22/07 11:22 AM, FUNKbrs wrote: What part of "SHE WAS CHEATING ON HER BOYFRIEND" don't you dumb fuckers understand? Next request for a pic gets banned. This aint the fucking porn forum.

She turns out to be Katie Holmes, and Funk gets sued by Scientology.

[Institutionalized]

I once met a hot girl by checking her out, and comparing her to a cream filled donut. I didnt think she noticed. She had a sence of humor about it though and now we're friends.

"Jordan, stop checking out her ass"
"I'm not, I'm just looking at those donuts. Those thick, cream filled donuts, with those holes... and then I just wanna lick all that hot gooey cream out of it."

[Dark-Knight]

i dont think it really matters who you jerk off too... as long as its girls..girls

[elkrobber]

At 4/22/07 10:53 AM, DarkPhazon wrote: Well, I have a gf so I honestly have no comment here......

Thanks for the comment.

[SlipperyMooseCakes]

At 4/22/07 11:58 AM, elkrobber wrote:

At 4/22/07 10:53 AM, DarkPhazon wrote: Well, I have a gf so I honestly have no comment here......

Thanks for the comment.

HI ELKROBBER HOLY SHIT I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN YEARS!

No caps.

[Mitok]

I want a story of EarFetish proportions or pics... now!

[ouchichi]

See what you did there. Flattery. Flattery will get you everywhere.

And I mean, everywhere.

[AtomicTerrorist]

At 4/22/07 11:58 AM, Dark-Knight wrote: i dont think it really matters who you jerk off too... as long as its girls..girls

lol.

im totally wanking over this story