I'll tell you about the time I hit a drunk preacher.
It was 7:15am on a tuesday morning, and I was driving to work. I was on a 4-lane highway, and I was in the left lane, going about 60mph. Anyway, I see up ahead that there's a white pickup truck on the shoulder of the road, surrounded by people and kids. I slow down to about 50, because I'm worried about the kids. Suddenly the pickup jumps out into the road, attempting to do a humongous U-turn through all four lanes of traffic so he can go the other way. Unfortunately, it was too late for me to get away, and I slammed into his driver-side door. We both spun around a couple of times and landed perfectly inside the turning lane. My airbag had deployed, and my car was totaled, but all I suffered was a bruise on my waist and on my shoulder from the seatbelt, a broken pair of glasses (from the airbag), and some slight friction burns on my inner thumbs from where the airbag had jerked my hands away from teh wheel.
I had hit his truck at an odd angle, causing his front left tire to break the axle and sit on its side, propping that corner of the truck up (the mechanics said they'd never seen something like that happen before). The guy got out of his truck, and the first words he said were, "It's okay! I'm a preacher!"
I'm trying to figure out how the hell that's supposed to help anything, when this guy pulls up behind us and asks us if we're all right. I say I'm okay, but my car is smoking, and I'm afraid to get back inside to get my cel phone out. I was pretty shaken up, and I was panicking like I thought my car would blow up, lol. He let me use his cell phone to call my parents, while the preacher's family (all the people and kids that had been surrounding the truck prior) came running over to check on us too.
The state police got there before anyone else, and they immediately began hollering at the guy's family to quit taking stuff out of the back of the truck. They had been removing golfing gear, fishing equipment, and coolers of god knows what, lol. The next thing I hear from the state patrolman is, "now tell me how much you've had to drink sir, and don't lie to me because I can smell it on your breath."
That's when I realized I'd just hit a drunk preacher at 7:15 on a tuesday morning.
Oh, but it gets better. After the state cops left him and came to talk to me, the guy dropped his pants and began peeing in the middle of the road. His family quickly huddled around him to cover him up, but not before one of the state cops saw it. By this time my parents had already gotten there, and one of the state cops said to my mom, "isn't that indecent exposure?"
My mom said, "I think that's the least of his problems now."
Long story short, the guy lost his license for having yet another DUI on his record, and he had crappy insurance because no one would insure him. My insurance company had to fight them tooth and nail to get any money, and they even had a detective call me and try to admit that the preacher hadn't done anything to suggest he was intoxicated. I told him to go fuck himself. :) I had to buy a new car (my old one wasn't more than a month old... and it was such a pretty blue...), and lost out on the payments I'd already made on the old one. :(
Moral of the story: friends don't let preachers drive drunk.