At 4/7/24 10:33 PM, Template88 wrote: The discouraged artists support group topic you were already posting in was probably your best bet for a safe space regarding this sort of thing. Assuming you want more since you posted this as its own topic uh since art is now associated with bad memories for you and youve tried everything but the passion is still not there maybe its time to stop associating something you're not really interested in/cant/dont want to do anymore as a defining trait for who you are. Theres a lot more important things about you as a person than your ability to draw, you're not trying to become a professional or anything so why are you clinging onto it for dear life? get a different hobby.

At 4/7/24 10:53 PM, Mazooe wrote:

At 4/7/24 10:47 PM, Template88 wrote:

At 4/7/24 10:40 PM, Mazooe wrote:

At 4/7/24 10:33 PM, Template88 wrote: The discouraged artists support group topic you were already posting in was probably your best bet for a safe space regarding this sort of thing. Assuming you want more since you posted this as its own topic uh since art is now associated with bad memories for you and youve tried everything but the passion is still not there maybe its time to stop associating something you're not really interested in/cant/dont want to do anymore as a defining trait for who you are. Theres a lot more important things about you as a person than your ability to draw, you're not trying to become a professional or anything so why are you clinging onto it for dear life? get a different hobby.

I tried, but drawing was something I always liked, ever since I was a little girl I dreamed of creating something and drawing always made me happy. But now I see a wider, more aggressive and competitive world...

well one of your first issues that i see all the time is that you're already comparing yourself to your competition, and not only that but worldwide competition...but you're not competing. It should be dawning on you that you have no special abilities regarding art, and you're not really in the mindset to come at it from a competitive angle, you are toying around with niche stuff at best and are basically projecting yourself into your art at worst. your art = you and your art sucks ergo you sucks. Thats cool and all but thats not a viable or competitive mindset longterm or even short term. Your motivation and perspective are all fucked up and frankly theres no way to really "fix" that without disassociating your art from all the baggage its accrued at which point youd probably have nothing left.

I admit I hate myself more than I could hate anyone who deserves a frown, but even when I try to dissociate myself from my art (such as drawing fanart, landscapes or such) I end up feeling like something goes wrong and I can do it again over a thousand times and it will have the same or a thousand different errors. I don't seek perfection but I seek improvement. And I feel like it's over for me, I'm too old to "get good" I see kids that can't even buy a beer draw faces way fucking better than I could ever do.

I tried to embrace the "I suck and that's my style" idea but in the end it just ate me up whenever I tried to improve. It's a constant reminder that I have the drawing skills of an amoeba.

At 4/7/24 10:55 PM, Mazooe wrote:

At 4/7/24 10:52 PM, Dr-Freebase wrote:

At 4/7/24 10:42 PM, Mazooe wrote:

At 4/7/24 10:35 PM, Dr-Freebase wrote: Complaining doesnt help your case.

If you really want to improve I suggest you put your full effort into a few peices then step back and compare them to what you want them to be like, figure out where your weak, then intentionally work on that.

And yeah its painful to admit that you suck, but you cant move forward unless you address it. Have only really started doing this recently myself, its applicable to way more than art.

its also good to not immediatly post or share what you make, leave at least a 2 week delay prior to posting or sharing anything, gives you time to think and produce better content. Definetly a rule ive broken recently and need to go back to doing that.

Further complaints will result in decapitation

Trust me, I tried, but all my drawings I'm proud of were either gifts for friends, collabs or from a time in which I could spend a whole day drawing a face to perfection. Now I can't even draw shitty on purpose.

dont draw for other people

Also dont complain or your going to convince yourself your screwed
If you belive your screwed, nobody can help you, and nobody will want to listen to you

I already push myself downhill every day simply existing. The only thing keeping me from pulling the trigger is supporting my family. And I know nobody wants to listen to me or can help me, but I'm still dumb enough to try.

At 4/8/24 03:43 AM, PerKGrok wrote:
So this is my take on your character, the Sad Girl, from your various threads. It's not a bad character (who might or might not be yourself) to base art on.

A couple of historic cartoonists that can be worth looking into are
Charles Addams https://www.lambiek.net/artists/a/addams_charles.htm and
Oskar Andersson (O.A.) https://www.lambiek.net/artists/a/andersson_oskar.htm

If you want help you need to be able to open up to accepting help. To me it does not look like you are there it this time.

Having your character beating herself up as a therapeutic tool might work (or not), but beating yourself up is no good.
This is a more important question than on what level your art is.

At 4/8/24 02:43 AM, Template88 wrote:

At 4/8/24 12:29 AM, Mazooe wrote:
It sucks, but all of this simply pushed me to ask myself if this cringey art, embarrassing myself with pathetic drawings is worth it. And I asked myself through a (shitty) drawing, and I gotta say, maybe the answer is yes. Maybe the quality is sub zero, maybe I become a good artist again, but it's a question that if it had an answer, I guess I'd have no art career.

At 4/8/24 07:15 AM, Tenebrare wrote:

At 4/7/24 10:22 PM, Mazooe wrote: Fellow Newgrounders, I feel the weight of my suckage drowning me. I just dont improve no matter how much I try, how many tutorials I watch, how many times I said yes to "Draw every day, every fucking second" or "draw when you feel like it"
I just look at the result and I hate myself as if I committed horrible atrocities. I have been drawing for years, but it was always something social that I've done with friends, had a laugh, they left me and the passion for art is still there... but the queality dropped. I've been a whole year without being able to draw because just thinking about it made me depressed. And yeah I know the usual answers "The problem is you" "Get help sick fuck" and all that, but don't worry, I already decided that the best favour I could do to the glorious, magnificent, brilliant Art Community is to just give the fuck up.

Any words?

While I am no medical expert, but I am one with constant sadness.

I have found that, when I am getting to the phase of "I no longer cannot" - no matter what it is, be it improvement, idea or anything in-between. I need a solid step back. For me that step back is going outside to the nature, completely taking self off from human contact (mainly just not using modern tech widgets, although people technically could still call me, but it's on silent and I check when I take 5 for tech later) and enjoying sounds of nature - birds, sounds of river streams, wind caressing tree-leaves or branches.

I have learned that, when I build up stress due to lack of progress (as said above - be it ideas, work progress, improvements etc), i start self sabotaging and the negativity I have towards self becomes eventually the reason i stop progressing. Perhaps it is my organisms way to ask for a break due overleoad, who knows.

So my 1st suggestion is - take a proper break and do something else you might enjoy. If you enjoy being with family - do that, if you enjoy walks like I do - do that. And so on.

My other advice, which maybe a bit odd is - stop watching guides. No, really - stop watching all those videos and guides and suggestions - least for now.

Next time you sit back to do art, then 1st close your eyes and set yourself a simple goal. Something you already can do relatively fine. Something you like doing. And do not force yourself to do anything extra. At the end you probably can see a bit of positivity - Ha - you were able to do something you planned doing on.It can be something ridiculous feeling even like a "perfect circle" or just an element like "bundle of fingers" or perhaps eyes? Doesn't have to be a full image, but something you can and like doing.

Next time you feel ready to improve - try something basic again. No, do not look that perfect shading, or perfect composition other artist had, but treat your next lesson playfully and see it as a step. Like a step on stairs. It may feel so small, so irrelevant. But here we actually are trying to find a way YOUR BRAIN wants to or can learn. For example my brain is completely incapable use those "lines, cubes, circles" to make human. But to find out how I can do something I had to play and find how I can improve. It is about finding YOUR WAY.

I can see you reading this and asking : "How this helps with my sadness?" - It is not about removing your sadness or your shield. It is about giving yourself the small treats that you can manage and control your moment of sadness and maybe if you give yourself enough small treats and tangible goals, you can over time overcome the frustration and sorrow. Or not, but you can learn to co-exist with it.

I think part reason you cannot learn or improve is that you choose wrong guides and even if you find right guide you get overwhelmed, when you get overwhelmed, you get frustrated, when you get frustrated you self sabotage. I think you should turn this car around - take 1st a break and a mental reset, turn a page and take different approach.

And I need a coffee" Big mugful of coffee.

At 4/8/24 08:02 AM, T7-101 wrote: I got a question for you can ask, not to answer to anyone but yourself
Why do you want to be? What does drawing bring you? what exactly about it makes you feel better and what makes you sick to the core?
It taken me awhile to figure out these out, and when I taken the path a wanted to go I got a cruel reminder that a path that's different from others is isolated.
I didn't know what to do, no one I known could relate to me even now, and I am alone. so so alone
But theres one thing keeping me a foot, I know that I want to make as story for those like me, a story to change the world so I'm continued to make it, refine it and repeat.

Of course you can't just do what I did as that wouldn't work, I know that everyone here talking as if their word is fact but we don't know a thing(me included) about how you're in this situation feels. We're not objective guides, just bumbling fools
going though our own demons. I know that from people who think one conversation or one night's of sleep can wash away your problems. They just don't understand and to a lesser or higher extent we don't understand how it feels.

So try to understand yourself, you can learn yourself better then anyone else after all.
therefore you can learn what makes you... you

At 4/8/24 11:23 AM, Thetageist wrote:

At 4/7/24 10:53 PM, Mazooe wrote:

At 4/7/24 10:47 PM, Template88 wrote:

At 4/7/24 10:40 PM, Mazooe wrote:

At 4/7/24 10:33 PM, Template88 wrote: The discouraged artists support group topic you were already posting in was probably your best bet for a safe space regarding this sort of thing. Assuming you want more since you posted this as its own topic uh since art is now associated with bad memories for you and youve tried everything but the passion is still not there maybe its time to stop associating something you're not really interested in/cant/dont want to do anymore as a defining trait for who you are. Theres a lot more important things about you as a person than your ability to draw, you're not trying to become a professional or anything so why are you clinging onto it for dear life? get a different hobby.

I tried, but drawing was something I always liked, ever since I was a little girl I dreamed of creating something and drawing always made me happy. But now I see a wider, more aggressive and competitive world...

well one of your first issues that i see all the time is that you're already comparing yourself to your competition, and not only that but worldwide competition...but you're not competing. It should be dawning on you that you have no special abilities regarding art, and you're not really in the mindset to come at it from a competitive angle, you are toying around with niche stuff at best and are basically projecting yourself into your art at worst. your art = you and your art sucks ergo you sucks. Thats cool and all but thats not a viable or competitive mindset longterm or even short term. Your motivation and perspective are all fucked up and frankly theres no way to really "fix" that without disassociating your art from all the baggage its accrued at which point youd probably have nothing left.

I admit I hate myself more than I could hate anyone who deserves a frown, but even when I try to dissociate myself from my art (such as drawing fanart, landscapes or such) I end up feeling like something goes wrong and I can do it again over a thousand times and it will have the same or a thousand different errors. I don't seek perfection but I seek improvement. And I feel like it's over for me, I'm too old to "get good" I see kids that can't even buy a beer draw faces way fucking better than I could ever do.

I tried to embrace the "I suck and that's my style" idea but in the end it just ate me up whenever I tried to improve. It's a constant reminder that I have the drawing skills of an amoeba.

Is this an excuse to bring up Bob Ross? I think this is an excuse to bring up Bob Ross. He was in his 40s when he started his painting show. Hell, I’ve even seen 80-year-old retirees go viral for the art skills that they’ve been able to develop now that they have enough time on their hands.

It is never too late.

At 4/8/24 11:26 AM, Thetageist wrote:

At 4/7/24 10:55 PM, Mazooe wrote:

At 4/7/24 10:52 PM, Dr-Freebase wrote:

At 4/7/24 10:42 PM, Mazooe wrote:

At 4/7/24 10:35 PM, Dr-Freebase wrote: Complaining doesnt help your case.

If you really want to improve I suggest you put your full effort into a few peices then step back and compare them to what you want them to be like, figure out where your weak, then intentionally work on that.

And yeah its painful to admit that you suck, but you cant move forward unless you address it. Have only really started doing this recently myself, its applicable to way more than art.

its also good to not immediatly post or share what you make, leave at least a 2 week delay prior to posting or sharing anything, gives you time to think and produce better content. Definetly a rule ive broken recently and need to go back to doing that.

Further complaints will result in decapitation

Trust me, I tried, but all my drawings I'm proud of were either gifts for friends, collabs or from a time in which I could spend a whole day drawing a face to perfection. Now I can't even draw shitty on purpose.

dont draw for other people

Also dont complain or your going to convince yourself your screwed
If you belive your screwed, nobody can help you, and nobody will want to listen to you

I already push myself downhill every day simply existing. The only thing keeping me from pulling the trigger is supporting my family. And I know nobody wants to listen to me or can help me, but I'm still dumb enough to try.

I mean, it’s also fine to take a break if you need it. Improving at art is hard and exhausting, and you are not wrong for prioritizing your mental health. I can tell you’re in a very dark place. Maybe what you should do is get off art social media for a while, draw your feelings out, and just talk to people without needing to show off each other’s work.

At 4/8/24 12:10 PM, Mazooe wrote:

At 4/8/24 11:23 AM, Thetageist wrote:

At 4/7/24 10:53 PM, Mazooe wrote:

At 4/7/24 10:47 PM, Template88 wrote:

At 4/7/24 10:40 PM, Mazooe wrote:

At 4/7/24 10:33 PM, Template88 wrote: The discouraged artists support group topic you were already posting in was probably your best bet for a safe space regarding this sort of thing. Assuming you want more since you posted this as its own topic uh since art is now associated with bad memories for you and youve tried everything but the passion is still not there maybe its time to stop associating something you're not really interested in/cant/dont want to do anymore as a defining trait for who you are. Theres a lot more important things about you as a person than your ability to draw, you're not trying to become a professional or anything so why are you clinging onto it for dear life? get a different hobby.

I tried, but drawing was something I always liked, ever since I was a little girl I dreamed of creating something and drawing always made me happy. But now I see a wider, more aggressive and competitive world...

well one of your first issues that i see all the time is that you're already comparing yourself to your competition, and not only that but worldwide competition...but you're not competing. It should be dawning on you that you have no special abilities regarding art, and you're not really in the mindset to come at it from a competitive angle, you are toying around with niche stuff at best and are basically projecting yourself into your art at worst. your art = you and your art sucks ergo you sucks. Thats cool and all but thats not a viable or competitive mindset longterm or even short term. Your motivation and perspective are all fucked up and frankly theres no way to really "fix" that without disassociating your art from all the baggage its accrued at which point youd probably have nothing left.

I admit I hate myself more than I could hate anyone who deserves a frown, but even when I try to dissociate myself from my art (such as drawing fanart, landscapes or such) I end up feeling like something goes wrong and I can do it again over a thousand times and it will have the same or a thousand different errors. I don't seek perfection but I seek improvement. And I feel like it's over for me, I'm too old to "get good" I see kids that can't even buy a beer draw faces way fucking better than I could ever do.

I tried to embrace the "I suck and that's my style" idea but in the end it just ate me up whenever I tried to improve. It's a constant reminder that I have the drawing skills of an amoeba.

Is this an excuse to bring up Bob Ross? I think this is an excuse to bring up Bob Ross. He was in his 40s when he started his painting show. Hell, I’ve even seen 80-year-old retirees go viral for the art skills that they’ve been able to develop now that they have enough time on their hands.

It is never too late.

Remind me that when I say it's too late to do something, maybe I should shut up.and fall asleep

At 4/8/24 12:13 PM, Mazooe wrote:

At 4/8/24 11:26 AM, Thetageist wrote:

At 4/7/24 10:55 PM, Mazooe wrote:

At 4/7/24 10:52 PM, Dr-Freebase wrote:

At 4/7/24 10:42 PM, Mazooe wrote:

At 4/7/24 10:35 PM, Dr-Freebase wrote: Complaining doesnt help your case.

If you really want to improve I suggest you put your full effort into a few peices then step back and compare them to what you want them to be like, figure out where your weak, then intentionally work on that.

And yeah its painful to admit that you suck, but you cant move forward unless you address it. Have only really started doing this recently myself, its applicable to way more than art.

its also good to not immediatly post or share what you make, leave at least a 2 week delay prior to posting or sharing anything, gives you time to think and produce better content. Definetly a rule ive broken recently and need to go back to doing that.

Further complaints will result in decapitation

Trust me, I tried, but all my drawings I'm proud of were either gifts for friends, collabs or from a time in which I could spend a whole day drawing a face to perfection. Now I can't even draw shitty on purpose.

dont draw for other people

Also dont complain or your going to convince yourself your screwed
If you belive your screwed, nobody can help you, and nobody will want to listen to you

I already push myself downhill every day simply existing. The only thing keeping me from pulling the trigger is supporting my family. And I know nobody wants to listen to me or can help me, but I'm still dumb enough to try.

I mean, it’s also fine to take a break if you need it. Improving at art is hard and exhausting, and you are not wrong for prioritizing your mental health. I can tell you’re in a very dark place. Maybe what you should do is get off art social media for a while, draw your feelings out, and just talk to people without needing to show off each other’s work.

Yeah, and I'll be honest with you. My grandmother died this week. But I don't feel sad, at all. It was stressful to deal with my hypocritical aunts but I feel relieved that she's no longer here. I guess I had a lot going through my head to sit back and relax.

At 4/8/24 12:24 PM, Thetageist wrote:

At 4/8/24 12:13 PM, Mazooe wrote:

At 4/8/24 11:26 AM, Thetageist wrote:

At 4/7/24 10:55 PM, Mazooe wrote:

At 4/7/24 10:52 PM, Dr-Freebase wrote:

At 4/7/24 10:42 PM, Mazooe wrote:

At 4/7/24 10:35 PM, Dr-Freebase wrote: Complaining doesnt help your case.

If you really want to improve I suggest you put your full effort into a few peices then step back and compare them to what you want them to be like, figure out where your weak, then intentionally work on that.

And yeah its painful to admit that you suck, but you cant move forward unless you address it. Have only really started doing this recently myself, its applicable to way more than art.

its also good to not immediatly post or share what you make, leave at least a 2 week delay prior to posting or sharing anything, gives you time to think and produce better content. Definetly a rule ive broken recently and need to go back to doing that.

Further complaints will result in decapitation

Trust me, I tried, but all my drawings I'm proud of were either gifts for friends, collabs or from a time in which I could spend a whole day drawing a face to perfection. Now I can't even draw shitty on purpose.

dont draw for other people

Also dont complain or your going to convince yourself your screwed
If you belive your screwed, nobody can help you, and nobody will want to listen to you

I already push myself downhill every day simply existing. The only thing keeping me from pulling the trigger is supporting my family. And I know nobody wants to listen to me or can help me, but I'm still dumb enough to try.

I mean, it’s also fine to take a break if you need it. Improving at art is hard and exhausting, and you are not wrong for prioritizing your mental health. I can tell you’re in a very dark place. Maybe what you should do is get off art social media for a while, draw your feelings out, and just talk to people without needing to show off each other’s work.

Yeah, and I'll be honest with you. My grandmother died this week. But I don't feel sad, at all. It was stressful to deal with my hypocritical aunts but I feel relieved that she's no longer here. I guess I had a lot going through my head to sit back and relax.

I get that. Not all families are 100% functional. If your grandmother put a lot of pressure and stress on you, it’s okay to feel that way now that she’s gone. But you may also need to take some time to heal and process all the pain that you’ve been put through.