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Chapter 1: Pathetic

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Chapter 1: Pathetic 2014-09-26 02:22:10


Chapter One

So; Their I was, histerically pacing through the shadows,
standing roughly at about 5'10",cloak draped over my shoulders
gently fluttering within the wind; fearfully ducking and dodging
headlights whilst pathologically portraying a strong demeanor.

Within my invisible markers of what I deemed to be safe
A truck passed by; As I scurried away from the lights I fealt an
insatiable erge to be be back within the comforts of my mothers home.

Invisioning, I can feel the extacy. Cool air, An angelic light gleaming
through the windows, Tons of pillows, and a Mothers love. (Breaks squeak);
Darkness, It fealt as if a weak passed everynight.

Peaking around the corner of a blue home which resembled my grandmothers;
I noticed a Man standing within A doorway of the neighboring building.
I watched him curiously for quite some time. He was tall, But not
intimidatingly so. White dress shirt, Red vest, black khakis, and the light
from the interior of the structure shined off of his shoes and glasses.
Casually smooth, hands in his pockets. I couldn't help But wonder what he
was thinking about. Headlights! I quickly put my back to the wall;
Sweat resonated atop of my skin, Fingertips gripped the siding.
My unspoken prayer eminated from the recesses of my mind. Eyes closed,
head directed towards the stars. It passed; I took a breath and stepped out
From behind the wall; Opened my eyes and walked down the alleyway.

As I nervously studdered into the light; I thought about running.
But I was driven towards the man as if I were steal beneath a magnet.
Somewhat compressed, It was like approaching a father after getting into trouble
Head low, Shoulders up, I tried to hold back my cringing and look as if i were the man that I
should have been: That I was. Not the boy in an infinite mass of singularity.
He Raised his head; Smiled and greeted me, Asking " Is this your
First mass? Epiphany, This building is a church? The wave of energies
that swept through me demanding me to run were immediatley Dominated
by the mans graceful invitation, Putting his hand on my shoulder ushering me
within the building. We sat down together.

The interior was quite magnificent. A stars red carpet, dark stained wooden pews,
The ceiling looked comparable to Leonardo davinci's "Last supper's, White walls
And a few more then a dozen people were scattered throughout the seating.
Sinking into my seat, Knee on the barrier wall infront of me
I thought it was odd that we sat facing the wall instead of the podium.
Disregarding the thought; Looking over my left shoulder somewhat down
towards the crowd and podium. I asked "why the two women
were carrying those things around the room". One carried an american flag
and the other; Well, For some reason I cant recall what the other carried.
He responded " It is respect for america and ____."The people were calm,
few shuffles. grabbing books, a few sniffles and clearing of throats.

The atmosphere slowly rendered my emotions to the point that I fealt one
with the crowd. Then, As I were about to ask the man another question;
A man walking by stopped, time seemingly did to
The Illuminated shadowy figure was frighteningly mysterious and didn't
turn his head; or move any muscle for that matter.
Fresh Jet Black clothes embroidered with Gold, Vest with shoulder pads
hung just a little past his knees, Some what baggy jeans, Big black
Steal toe'd boots,with a Deathly blank facial expression; and to top that,
A golden cap patching an eye. ...He said "Come with me"
In disbeleif I new it was directed towards me.

Gathering my senses; Not knowing how to uphold myself, I placed my hand
on the arm rest; glancing at my Large cuffed sleeve,
(An Old leather with dirt compacted into its color covering half of my
filthy hands.) I pushed myself up; self conciously, then stepped out towards
him. He began to walk, and I followed. we turned left around the corner
from where I had been sitting; across from the podium.
No one seemed to give any mind to us. (He opened the door) Behold, An unlit
stairwell. The eerie creeks sunk into me like nails on a chalk board as he
majestically glided down the stairwell.

Trance like i drifted behind him
untill about half way down a small boy began to come down the stairs as well.
the man was waiting at the bottom and as i Eerily approached and opened my
mouth to speak; I was immediately shut down bye him Nodding towards the wall.
Seeing a reflecting painting of the scenario; A voice protruded from beneath
the stairs.Proclaiming With a rasping tritone effect.
"It is him! It is him, I knew it" (Adrenaline shot through me)as I stepped
away something reached from between the steps grasping my ankles creating a
ripple effect of shock and terror. Frantically attempting to pull away as
if I were treading through the muck of a swamp. My back hit the wall and a
creature lunged from between the steps crawling up me; within the blink of an eye
We were face to face; his hands grasping my shoulders whilst one foot was on my
hip and the other gripped my testicles. Pain echoed through my nervous system.
He repeated " It is him, It is him!


Beauty to Adorn, Wisdom to Contrive, Strength to support 7/4.6

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Response to Chapter 1: Pathetic 2014-09-28 16:11:57


I'll be honest. I don't understand what happened at all. I got the gist. Never leave anything blank. A blank word is the most annoying thing in the world. Not rememberig something is fine, but you could've instead put that he didn't hear the end of it because he got distracted by that decked out guy. All in all, it has potential, you just need to give background. And this is the first chapter so most people can forgive you, myself included.


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Response to Chapter 1: Pathetic 2014-09-28 21:07:56


Maybe you'll find out later.. It seems significant


Beauty to Adorn, Wisdom to Contrive, Strength to support 7/4.6

BBS Signature