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And... There's A Deer. (kinda Nsfw)

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NeutralObjections
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And... There's A Deer. (kinda Nsfw) 2012-06-21 14:06:09 Reply

So here is a story.

Last night riding my scooter I was breezing through the back roads on a midnight drive. It was a beautiful 85 and the moon was shining. Just a perfect night for a cruise around town and it's backroads.

Suddenly, the middle of the drive I became a little parched. There was no one on the roads, so I immediately did a quick U-Turn towards main street. I thought I might buy myself some pink lemonade, I haven't swallowed such a drink in quite the while.

I was going about 40-45, and the bugs were tinking off the screen on my helmet. The roads were dead quite, not a sound. Considering the week I had it was nice just being by myself. I had recently found a girl, and I've been hanging with my friends almost every evening. I thought to myself that this was truly the happiest I've been in a while.

And that's when the white-tail leaped out of the woods.

You ever throw a grenade in a multiplayer game and you manage to target bomb some poor sucker just so perfectly you feel like a marksman? That perfect timing kind of felt like that.

With no time to react I collided with the furry creature. I could feel it's warm fur as it's backside spun to dirt on the side of the road. Still on, but barely, instinctive reaction kicked in and I, very foolishly, as I was wearing sandals, put my foot to the ground.

I flipped off the side of my scooter and it flipped over as it rumbled to a stop. My rag doll of a body slid about 10 feet on the pavement.

"Fuck!" I cursed to the empty road. I got up from the ground and started moving my joints. Nothing felt broken, and I wasn't in any real pain, so my eyes turned towards to the deer. It wiggled and kicked attempting to get up with the last of it's strength, but very rapidly it started to calm itself and let death (I assume) take over.

I got the phone out of my pocket. Still intact, I turned on my flashlight app to examine my injuries. I could feel some pressure on my toe, so I looked there. Like putting it a few times through a cheese grater, I had destroyed my toe. It resembled raw meat besides the chunk of skin dangling off from it.

The right side of my body was littered with road burn. The main injuries being my foot, knee, and hand. A little scared, I went over to my scooter. I love my scooter, and I was terrified it might be totaled. I pick it up, and find that it still starts. In fact, the only real damage was the lights, which has been bent heavily to right side.

I drove home in pain as the adrenaline wore off and walked inside. With a help from my parents a visit to the hospital today, I now look like a preppy mummy. And they ruined my Banana Republic shorts. But, oh well.

I consider myself incredibly lucky. Considering the speed and the circumstances, I came out with this collision with only deep cuts and road burn. I remember hitting the deer and considering if I was going to break a bone for the first time. Luckily, I did not.

Either way, lying on my bathroom floor, I took a picture and thought I might tell you guys about it. So please, enjoy this picture of my chewed up toe.

TL;DR - I hit a deer riding my scooter going around 40-45 and it was not fun. Here's a picture of my bloodied body.

And... There's A Deer. (kinda Nsfw)

NeutralObjections
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Response to And... There's A Deer. (kinda Nsfw) 2012-06-21 14:08:28 Reply

And hey! Here's my knee!

And... There's A Deer. (kinda Nsfw)

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Response to And... There's A Deer. (kinda Nsfw) 2012-06-21 14:26:55 Reply

Note to self: Never ride a motorcycle or scooter.

Ever.


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Response to And... There's A Deer. (kinda Nsfw) 2012-06-21 15:50:40 Reply

Oh god why


Everything I say is basically verbal diarrhea

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Response to And... There's A Deer. (kinda Nsfw) 2012-06-21 16:17:10 Reply

yep...totally not riding on a scooter or a motorcycle in the near or distant future now...


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Response to And... There's A Deer. (kinda Nsfw) 2012-06-21 16:28:13 Reply

Soooo like... where's there deer..
I would like its skull


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Response to And... There's A Deer. (kinda Nsfw) 2012-06-21 16:31:20 Reply

Could be worse, you could've hit it at 70-80mph like whoever did this did.

And... There's A Deer. (kinda Nsfw)

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Response to And... There's A Deer. (kinda Nsfw) 2012-06-21 16:38:27 Reply

Ah fuck that looks gross.


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Response to And... There's A Deer. (kinda Nsfw) 2012-06-21 16:41:39 Reply

It wouldn't have happened if you rode a car. In that situation you could just go on and avoid any injury.


(הֲבֵל הֲבָלִים אָמַר קֹהֶלֶת, הֲבֵל הֲבָלִים הַכֹּל הָבֶל. דּוֹר הֹלֵךְ וְדוֹר בָּא, וְהָאָרֶץ לְעוֹלָם עֹמָדֶת. (קהלת א ג, ה

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Response to And... There's A Deer. (kinda Nsfw) 2012-06-21 16:43:33 Reply

At 6/21/12 04:41 PM, satanbrain wrote: It wouldn't have happened if you rode a car. In that situation you could just go on and avoid any injury.

Very true.

Also very boring.

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Response to And... There's A Deer. (kinda Nsfw) 2012-06-21 17:05:37 Reply

At 6/21/12 04:43 PM, NeutralObjections wrote:
At 6/21/12 04:41 PM, satanbrain wrote: It wouldn't have happened if you rode a car. In that situation you could just go on and avoid any injury.
Very true.

Also very boring.

Also very harmless and safe.
So,very boring...


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Response to And... There's A Deer. (kinda Nsfw) 2012-06-21 17:11:03 Reply

At 6/21/12 05:05 PM, tonypar16 wrote:
Also very harmless and safe.
So,very boring...

Ah, you get it. ;D

Granted, it's only a scooter, but fuck it.

And... There's A Deer. (kinda Nsfw)

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Response to And... There's A Deer. (kinda Nsfw) 2012-06-21 17:11:45 Reply

At 6/21/12 04:43 PM, NeutralObjections wrote:
At 6/21/12 04:41 PM, satanbrain wrote: It wouldn't have happened if you rode a car. In that situation you could just go on and avoid any injury.
Very true.

Also very boring.

yes but
1 if you were driving a car you wouldn't have a practically destroyed foot
2 if you hit the deer going the speed you were going in a car you would have annihilated that thing...


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Response to And... There's A Deer. (kinda Nsfw) 2012-06-21 17:15:57 Reply

Also,I know this may be a bit irrelevant but deers are quite heavy animals(I think). Is your scooter damaged?


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Response to And... There's A Deer. (kinda Nsfw) 2012-06-21 17:17:57 Reply

At 6/21/12 05:11 PM, Viper50 wrote:
At 6/21/12 04:43 PM, NeutralObjections wrote:
At 6/21/12 04:41 PM, satanbrain wrote: It wouldn't have happened if you rode a car. In that situation you could just go on and avoid any injury.
Very true.

Also very boring.
yes but
1 if you were driving a car you wouldn't have a practically destroyed foot
2 if you hit the deer going the speed you were going in a car you would have annihilated that thing...

While true, the point is he's ok. Shouldn't that be all that really matters? Afterall, he will have some scars to show off to ze ladies, yeah?


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Response to And... There's A Deer. (kinda Nsfw) 2012-06-21 17:18:14 Reply

Did you go back with your family and pick up the deer for the ol' deer meat? :D


hurp

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Response to And... There's A Deer. (kinda Nsfw) 2012-06-21 17:20:24 Reply

I fucking hate deer with a passion for that reason alone, they killed a guy on a motorcycle just last year when he passed my gfs brothers car on the highway on his way to work... He was DOA. They pulled over and saw him bleeding to death pretty horribly.


hurp

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Response to And... There's A Deer. (kinda Nsfw) 2012-06-21 17:46:47 Reply

I've almost hit the aftermath of Deer vs. Semi, blood guts and ass everywhere.


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Response to And... There's A Deer. (kinda Nsfw) 2012-06-21 23:29:24 Reply

At 6/21/12 05:17 PM, Kanon wrote:
While true, the point is he's ok. Shouldn't that be all that really matters? Afterall, he will have some scars to show off to ze ladies, yeah?

I think fewer scars show that you know what you are doing.


(הֲבֵל הֲבָלִים אָמַר קֹהֶלֶת, הֲבֵל הֲבָלִים הַכֹּל הָבֶל. דּוֹר הֹלֵךְ וְדוֹר בָּא, וְהָאָרֶץ לְעוֹלָם עֹמָדֶת. (קהלת א ג, ה

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Response to And... There's A Deer. (kinda Nsfw) 2012-06-21 23:35:21 Reply

Aw, poor deer...

i have a soft spot for animals, deal with it

Still, its good that you didnt get hurt more than you did, ive known worse injuries with only about half the damage that happened to you

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Response to And... There's A Deer. (kinda Nsfw) 2012-06-21 23:42:45 Reply

"oh god im all fucked up ah shit let's take pictures"

Not what I would have done, but I applaud your perseverance, sir.


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Response to And... There's A Deer. (kinda Nsfw) 2012-06-22 00:07:51 Reply

Deer are a terrible thing and can kill the people in a car...But on a scooter?

Your Sir, are lucky, you badass you

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Response to And... There's A Deer. (kinda Nsfw) 2012-06-22 00:08:33 Reply

At 6/21/12 11:42 PM, DM692 wrote: "oh god im all fucked up ah shit let's take pictures"

Not what I would have done, but I applaud your perseverance, sir.

To be honest, I was lying down bleeding on the bathroom floor waiting for parents to come down and assist me.

I knew I was about to fly head first into a parental shit storm, so I thought "This might make a decent forum post," and snapped a picture.

Holy hell, there might be something wrong with me.

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Response to And... There's A Deer. (kinda Nsfw) 2012-06-22 00:33:33 Reply

At 6/21/12 05:11 PM, Viper50 wrote:
2 if you hit the deer going the speed you were going in a car you would have annihilated that thing...

Not quite. The deer would still be mostly intact. However your car would be totaled. The front end will be completely caved in, and possibly your front window shattered if the body flew over the hood.
It's a big problem around this state. Several years ago the Wildlife and Parks doubled the number of antler-less deer tags available to try and cut down on the population, but most hunters only go after Bucks.


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Response to And... There's A Deer. (kinda Nsfw) 2012-07-08 13:18:41 Reply

You know what every story of horrific body horror needs?

Pictures.

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Response to And... There's A Deer. (kinda Nsfw) 2012-07-08 13:45:04 Reply

At 6/21/12 05:15 PM, tonypar16 wrote: Also,I know this may be a bit irrelevant but deers are quite heavy animals(I think). Is your scooter damaged?

lol the guy who didnt read it but posted


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Response to And... There's A Deer. (kinda Nsfw) 2012-07-08 13:51:15 Reply

Aren't you supposed to call the police whenever you get into an accident? Like isn't that the law? Well, maybe it just means with another person. I feel bad for the deer, but it shouldn't have been such a retard.

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Response to And... There's A Deer. (kinda Nsfw) 2012-07-08 14:04:20 Reply

So happy there's no fucking deer where I live.

I'm happy you're okay. I do think you're a bad ass for riding a scooter, colliding with a deer, and surviving with just battle scars

I respond to every message!

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Response to And... There's A Deer. (kinda Nsfw) 2012-07-08 14:18:37 Reply

Dude how about just wear some actual shoes and pants when operating your scooter.

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Response to And... There's A Deer. (kinda Nsfw) 2012-07-08 14:22:19 Reply

With a help from my parents a visit to the hospital today, I now look like a preppy mummy. And they ruined my Banana Republic shorts.

..and that's where I totally lost any care I had for your injuries.


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