Eyes From Hell [a Bbs Story]

[Senri]

It had all started out one night when I was coming home from a friends house. He lives in a rural area about 5 miles from my house which is in an urban area.I don't see him much, but he was having a party. I was getting a drive home from his brother since I had no way of getting home especially since it was late. We were driving home and I saw a few men in the corn fields a few blocks over. There was about 7 of them. All equiped with flashlights. I couldn't figure out what they were looking for. I figured that it was just a missing cow or maybe a wolf has found it's way to the corn field.

I got home decided to see if it would be on the news. There was nothing about the corn fields, but there was something about a man who was inside an office building trying to bite people. Apparantley he was going up stairs slowly in a staggering manner when he bit someone going down the stairs. The biter got his neck, but the man who got bit kicked the biter down the stairs trying to get away and killed him because his head slammed against the wall going so fast.

It also said that the man who died was announced missing earlier that week and the man who got bitten was in the hospital with a severe feaver. This all seemed strange, but then it got worse. The building was about 2 miles from me. What's worse is that the hospital was about 3 miles. I knew what was happening. It could only be one thing.

I called up Atarah and Mr.Anderson. I told them to come over as soon as they could. It only took about half an hour. I asked them if they saw what happened on the news. Mr.Anderson saw it, but Atarah didn't. We explained to him about what happened. He was dumbfounded. We all knew what was happening. The thing we had been preparing for, for years. The uprising was about to start. We went to Atarah's house. In his basement we made a secure base since his walls were made of concrete and wasn't directly under his house but instead a little of to the side. Inside we had water, canned food, machetes, and more supplies. His parents were out of town as were mine.

Mr.Anderson simply snuck out. We all were in the basement with a map.
On the map there was a trail. It lead to the ocean. At the ocean a dinghy was there that was never chained up on the shore. "Mr.Anderson, how much can your bag carry?" Atarah asked.
"It's a big bag, so it can hold enough food and water for about a week... I think..." Mr.Anderson responded.

We started packing. The bag was a duffel so it held well over one weeks worth of canned food. We had at least one months worth of canned food and 5 gallons of water. Mr.Anderson picked up the bag and said "Let's get out of this town". We all knew we would be leaving our familes behind, but we didn't have enough to support more than 3 people for an extended amount of time.

As Mr.Anderson and I were walking up the stairs Atarah asked "Wait, what if it wasn't a... zombie just a psycho with a infectious disease? I mean also even if it was just one zombie. It should be able to be controlled... right?" Mr.Anderson and I looked at each other. We knew he was right. We were reacting too quickly. Mr.Anderson put the bag down and said we should stay at Atarah's for the next few days and watch the news. Atarah said it would be fine for us to stay. We all thougt that was a good idea. We switche off wathcing the news so that way we had one person monitering the news at all times.

Mr.Anderson went first for monitering. He was watching it as Atarah was looking up recent news in other places around the world looking for similar incidents. I was in the basement looking to see how many of each things we had. I mad a list.

Supplies
------------------
Canns of Food: 68
Gallons of Water: 12
Machetes: 4
Blankets: 6
Radio: 1
Batteries AA: 12
Batteries AAA: 8
Batteries D: 2
Clock: 2
Fishing Pole: 3
Matches: 3
Lighters: 2
Gasoline: 1 gallon

I came upstairs with the list. We had enough to be locked in the basement for about 1 1/2 to 2 1/2 months. After that we would need to find other food.

Mr.Anderson said after two hours he didn't see anything on the news and that it was Atarah's turn. Atarah got up and said "Two men have died in france from infectious bites." He than went over to the TV to moniter it. Mr.Anderson went to sleep and I began to look up news on the computer.

More to come, PM me or post if you want to be part of it. My first forums story woot.
Also trust me it will get better.

[36Holla]

Zombies eh? If you want to throw me in there, go ahead. A decent starting chapter, and I'm trusting you when you said it will get better.

[matt2k7]

FUCK IN HELL!!!!!!!!!!! post the second part this rules

[Akazukin]

"Who's Atarah?"

[Zen-Trai]

This story sounds interesting, and I would like to be a part of it if it's not any trouble.

[m4x0]

"Japs-eye from hell" would have been a better story alltogether.

[TwilightFox]

The story is really good so far. If you don't care, I would like to have a part in it, as well, please. :)

[Burnzoid]

I shit mesen. Which generally means I want more.

[Senri]

Everyone that has asked for a part is in it, also part 2 will be done in about half an hour to an hour.

Sorry, I procrasinate a lot.

[ZippoMan1543]

Not bad, and if it isn't to late I'd like a part in it.

[matt2k7]

can i be in it

[llib1]

i would like to be part of this if its not too much trouble. this is pretty good for a first story.

[PsycheStream]

It's nice, Senri XD . I thought at first that something really weird was going on at your place, but it's just a story O.o; .

[Sunglasses]

I require more good sir.

[Senri]

We had been looking for more incidents all day for the next few days. The original man who got bitten was released from the hospital, but not heard from since. Mr.Anderson had found a couple in Louisiana that had been viciously attacked. They were scratched and bitten.The woman died on the spot from being scratched on the neck and bleeding to death. The other was in a nearby hospital with an unknown infection. Some scientists have been trying to get a sample of his blood for their own research. None have been able too though, since the man is unconscious and unable to give approval.

Atarah had found a child in Israel who tried to bite and scratch his parents. He had a fever just the day before and couldn't move.

I had found a teen in New York that was being followed by a older woman who was moaning. She followed him everywhere untill he got cornered. She tried to grab him, but he pushed her down and ran to the police.

Atarah was sitting by the door against the wall with a newspaper looking for information.
Mr.Anderson was sitting on the couch in front of the TV checking the news channels. I was on the internet searching for news.

"Hey Atarah...Senri... what happened to the guy in the hospital after being attacked with his chick?" Mr.Anderson asked.

"I don't know. What did happen to him?" Atarah asked.

"I'll check... says here that he was buried within the hour of his death for some religious reason." I said.

"Well that's a good thing if were right." Atarah said

Just than there was a knock at the door. Atarah answered the door.

We all walked over twards the door to see who it was.

"36Holla?" Mr.Anderson asked.

"Yeah it's me... anyway, I came to tell you guys something. Have you guys been watching the news?" 36Holla asked.

Mr.Anderson, Atarah, and I all nodded in agreement.

"Than you know about what's been happening right? Do you know if it's... really is... zombies?" 36Holla asked,

"We don't know anything for sure, but we think it is. How else could you explain all of those bite attempts and scratching?" Mr.Anderson said.

"Hey, 36Holla. Your over 18 right?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'm 19" He replied.

"That's great. Look we've got an emergency money set-up. Anyway your old enoguh to buy a gun. Do you think you could get us one 44 Carbine? With ammo? We would pay for it." I said.

"Yeah, I will. But. Look, I really think the... uprising is coming soon. Can I join you guys? I know that you've been preparing for this for years." 36Holla said.

"Yes. You can, besides we could use more help." Atarah said.

"Ok. The gun store is by 22nd ST right?" 36Holla said.

"Yeah it is. Just buy it on a credit card and we'll pay you back in cash later. It would look weird to buy a gun in straight cash." I said.

36Holla left to go get the gun. [and see how long the waiting period is].

"This is great! We have four people now. Especially one who can drive!" Mr.Anderson said.

"Yeah, but I hope he doesn't tell anyone. I don't want a lot of people trying to join us. A group is fine, but more than 4 people? It will be to hard to control" Atarah said.

"We'll just have to hope for the best. Hey, look at this!" I said
It was a live video of a new station outside of a hospital in New York. It showed a nurse crying saying "He was horrible... his eyes were... they were.... oh my God... it was so scary. He was moaning and coming twards me. The worst part is there was more than one." she said. The camera zoomed out to show the policemen outisde with guns about to go in.

[Jimmy-jackass]

At 6/23/07 06:05 PM, matt2k7 wrote: FUCK IN HELL!!!!!!!!!!! post the second part this rules

No it dosen't.
No one has the balls to tell him off, criticize, or even review or critique it.

I'm beginning ot feel that literacy is dead here.

First it's slang, then there's flaming, and now people have to keep posting shit-ass stories because they have nothing better to do with their time. It's gotta be that, you people are jus' too much, you drivin' me nuts, insane, in the membrane, I'm losing my brain, to the craziness that's going on here...

Err.... I don't like your story.

[Senri]

At 6/23/07 08:44 PM, Jimmy-jackass wrote: Err.... I don't like your story.

That's fine, it's all opinion also why don't you? Criticism is pointless if you give no reasons.

Also sorry most of you for not being in part 2. You will be in later

[Jimmy-jackass]

Whoops. Forgot to review.

Another zombie story.
I could go on ranting about how many topics have been created about "zombie stories". Poor transitioning, a few grammar mistakes.

Of course, just like RE, the media has reports of a "biting".
Very original.

Atarah and Mr.Anderson, little character explanation or introduction.
Near non-existeant description of characters or enviroment,

Dialouge isn't great either.
Canned food. Canned food. Canned food.
No fruit? No chicken? No Dasanji Water? No rations? No Insta-Noodles? No mini-microwave?

Varying spelling errors.

These people ANTICIPATED a zombie outbreak?
And were all prepped for it?

You could have played around with BOLD and ITALIC and UNDERLINED, but apparently chose not to. You gave a LIST of your supplies.
You mispelled "cans".
You have CLOCKS?

I came upstairs with the list. We had enough to be locked in the basement for about 1 1/2 to 2 1/2 months. After that we would need to find other food.

Mr.Anderson said after two hours he didn't see anything on the news and that it was Atarah's turn. Atarah got up and said "Two men have died in france from infectious bites." He than went over to the TV to moniter it. Mr.Anderson went to sleep and I began to look up news on the computer.

Too painful. Can't...review......

2/5.
Shabby. Very.
Work on your grammar, creativity, depth, and persepective.
You don't make me FEEL that these people are going to face a zombie outbreak (don't feel ashamed, not a single BBS Zombie Story has done that )

I'm done

[Jimmy-jackass]

At 6/23/07 08:47 PM, Senri wrote:

At 6/23/07 08:44 PM, Jimmy-jackass wrote: Err.... I don't like your story.

That's fine, it's all opinion also why don't you? Criticism is pointless if you give no reasons.

\
Wow. You took that pretty well.
I respect you for that, most people who get bad reviews lash out at the reviewer.

[Senri]

What do you mean "CLOCKS?"

If zombies take over or simply get to your power source for your town then your power can go out. If you have clocks [battery powered] you will not need energy to tell what time it is. And timing is essential for making plans and strategies.

[Sunglasses]

At 6/23/07 09:00 PM, Jimmy-jackass wrote: stuff

Get lost, Grammar Nazi.

[Number-One-Assassin]

This story is pretty good. I'm waiting for more chapters. Do you think I could have a part in it?

[36Holla]

If I was 21 you would've asked me to get you alcohol. Oh well, guns work too. We'll see what the next chapter brings.

[Senri]

At 6/23/07 09:51 PM, 36Holla wrote: If I was 21 you would've asked me to get you alcohol. Oh well, guns work too. We'll see what the next chapter brings.

I'll probably get out chapter 3 tonight. Maybe even 4.

also

"This story is pretty good. I'm waiting for more chapters. Do you think I could have a part in it?"

Yeah your in.

[matt2k7]

I NEED MORE TO LIVE

[iateamexican]

Nice story.
I allways have like zombies and that stuff.
Is it to late to get in?
Or was the "more than 4 people" thing a bit of a hint?

[matt2k7]

hurry up and make part 3

[Senri]

At 6/24/07 08:09 AM, iateamexican wrote: Nice story.
I allways have like zombies and that stuff.
Is it to late to get in?
Or was the "more than 4 people" thing a bit of a hint?

No more people will be in later. I gurantee all that ask to be in will be in it. Maybe not for a few parts, but they will be in it.

[Senri]

"My god. They're in hospitals now." Mr.Anderson said.

"Crap! Now they have a whole little feeding nest full of people to bite!" Atarah said.

"Senri, where is this hospital?" Mr.Anderson asked.

"Well, it looks like it's Saint Bernal's. So I'd guess it's about an hour or two away." I said.

"It looks like we only have one choice. As soon as 36Holla comes back we have to make it to the rigg." Atarah said.

"I hate the fact that your right Atarah." I said.

"Well, let's go get ready to leave." Mr.Anderson said as he was heading down the stairs.

"All right. Hey. Senri watch the news and see what happens" Atarah said following Mr.Anderson.

I walked over to watch the news. Nothing happened for a while. Then a crash was made. I looked all over the screen for the cause of the noise. Then I saw it. A zombie had fallen out of a second story window. Three policemen rushed over to see if he was alright. He was... in a way. He got directly up grabbed a policeman. The camera zoomed in to get a better view. I knew that person. I was shocked to find this out.

"Zen-Trai!" I had shouted in a state of shock.

"What?" Mr.Anderson said coming up the stairs.

"Look! It's Zen-Trai! He's a zombie!" I said.

"What's happening?" Atarah said following Mr.Anderson.

"Zen-Trai is a zombie!" Mr.Anderson said.

"Oh... my... God... this is bad. We could know tons of people that have been turned into those demons." I said.

"A policeman was just assaulted by a man who had fallen through a second story window. The man got up directly after showing no injuries and grabbed a policeman. The man of authority was bitten once on the arm, and scratched twice on the torso before shooting the assailant three times in the chest forcing him back. The assailant was than still walking. He attempted to grab another policeman. He was than shot once in the head as he fell down as a policeman was attempting to push him back. His finger had slipped and hit at the exact wrong time. The policeman is being questioned as we speak in a nearby squadrin car." the news lady had said.

*knock* *knock*

Mr.Anderson went over twards the door. "36?" he called out.

"Yeah it's me, I got the reserve." He replied

Mr.Anderson opened the door.

"How long is the reserve?" Atarah asked.

"15 days. Same amount of days for all guns." 36Holla said.

"Damn. We don't have 15 days!"I said.

"Look it's either that way or robbing them." 36Holla said.

"Well do we have a choice?" Atarah said.

"We're not robbing the gun store." Mr.Anderson said.

"There is one other way we could get a gun." 36Holla said.

"How?" Atarah asked.

"Sarai." 36Holla said

"What do you mean?" I asked

"Well the bank she works at, it started to supply one handgun at each teller booth, and one 44 Carbine for each safe room." 36Holla said.

"Will she sell them?" Mr.Anderson asked.

"Well, I kind of... told her about... us... you know our group... she said she wanted in, but I told her she couldn't since 5 people would be hard to handle." 36Holla said

"So you mean, she will get us the guns if we let her join?" Atarah asked.

"Exactly. She'll get us them for free. Also since there is four safe rooms we'll get four guns!." 36Holla said excitedley.

"Fine, she's in. But... won't they notice four guns missing?" I asked.

"No! They keep them in a locker at the entrance of the inside of each safe room. They don't check them at night and since it's always closed no one will notice unless they needed to use them!" 36Holla said.

"Great than. I guess this will work out pretty well than. Call her up. Tomarrow we get the guns, her, and get to the rig." I said.

"Alrgiht! I'll go tell her. See ya later." 36Holla says, than leaves.

"Guys. We should get our supplies to the rig today. That way tomarrow we have more time tomarrow to make a run if we're caught taking the guns." Atarah said.

We all agreed.

"We only have enough room to store half of our supplies guys." Mr.Anderson said.

"I'll go home and get two duffel bags and some canned food." I said.

"All right. We'll keep packing." Atarah said.

I left the house and started walking down Burdy Dr to my block.
My house is about two blocks away. I passed Burdy and got onto Aly St.
From there I could see my house. I also saw a man walking by. He was walking slow. Studdering almost. He had a limp.

I thought to myself. Could it be... one of them? It could be. I went to the other side of the street slowly. I then called out "Hey you!".

The man turned twards me.

I was scared. He gave me such a scary look. I was ready to run. But then...

"What kid?" He yelled back to me.

I was relieved. After that I ran to my house and got the duffel bags. Not only that, but a baseball bat.

I rushed back to Atarah's

36Holla was back. Along with Sarai.

Apparently she had work off today and wanted to make sure she knew the plan.

"Senri." 36Holla said. "Guys Senris back!"

Atarah and Mr.Anderson came up the stairs.

"Come down and help us pack." Atarah said.

I walked down the stairs with the bags. 36 and Sarai were watching the news.

We packed and took all three bags up the stairs.

"You guys ready?" 36Holla asked dingling his car keys.

"Yeah..." Mr.Anderson said looking around to make sure.

All of us left to go to 36's car except for Sarai who was supposed to watch the news and alert us if anything happened.

We put the bags in the back of 36's car and got in.

It was about a 15 minute drive to the shore.

Atarah got out and went to the dinghy while 36, Mr.Anderson, and I took the bags to it.

After we got the bags in 36Holla told us to call when we were close to shore.

The three of us pushed the boat out and started the engine. We had enough gas in the motor [+ the spare gas left beside it] for a quite long trip.

Luckily the rigg was close enough we would have enough gas for many trips back and forth.

No one had talked while we were in the boat. We all had thousands of things running through our minds.

Than we all forgot what we were thinking of.

We got there.

We made it to the rigg.

sorry for such a slow beggining. I gurantee that
A) it will get better and [very] violant
B) you will be in later if you werent all ready

[Otreely]

I think it's pretty good so far. Would it be too muvh trouble for me to appear in this story?