you have some good stuff going on here. i would recommend looking into adding some more bassier stuff. like some kind of sine bass or something like that. i also feel like the percussion used doesn't quite fit the song. there's nothing really "wrong" with it, it just needs to be brought out some more. i think a bit eqing could help with that. it's always a good idea to keep your drums a bit "louder" than everything else.
there's a lot of potential with this.