This takes me back...

This actually sounds a lot like when I first started. To be honest, it's sounds pretty terrible man. I'm not trying to hate, I'm just giving it to you straight (lol, that rhymed). But I don't want to tell you you're bad and then run away, I'm not that mean.

The first thing would be the flow to the base and hats. You need to hit those key rhymes in those places. Once you start doing that, it'll come running out of your mouth much smoother than it is now. It actually is easier to memorize rhymes when they're on beat too, something Shakespeer figured out actually haha.

The next would be your sound. Working on the above mentioned may fix this, but I have to mention it. At times you sound like you want to go all out, but it comes out almost like a whisper. Don't be afraid to just go all out and put some voice into it. Don't hold back! I know those computer mics don't allow you to do that all the time, but there's way's around it.

Anyways, keep at it, you got Alot to Learn.

man u gettin better

i remember those sad old days when i used to fell nauseated when i heard ur voice, no offense

u getting better tho man,
flows more on point here
who knows, one day u could be the next jay-z lol

i cant wait to see how much better u can get

hmm

get a better mikro for your voice too be clearer.
other than that the peice itself it great
lyrics are good
5/5
9/10

OMG Jaw Droppin

Yo where the hell did this come from???
You Stepped Yah Game Up On Sum Real...
But Yeh I Got a mic ^.^
so we gotta collab nd yo....
check out mah new song 32 Shots
B Easy My Boi
+Protege+

Ever hear of jedi mind tricks?

Your gettin better. Need work on flow. check out heavenly divine by jedi mind tricks. thats where this beat came from. trust. if you are using like, a usb mic, and its to close to your computer, it doesnt sound as good, idk what you got but i had that problem. check out my old songs youll hear the differnece in quality between my new songs. 8 for the improvement 4 for the effort.
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obie