very nice
you deserve a 10 out of 10 i just love this classic but still a scary touch
I love IT!!
Reviews for "_-={Apocalypse}=-_"
hey im finally back after about a week or two
and i have another great story to fit this!!
Leon fell to the ground as the demon shot him with an energy ball of electricity.
"Leon!" Alma screamed as he was falling, and Lamazar (me!) ran over to where Leon was picked him up on his shoulders and brought him to Alma and right before the demons spikey tail crushed them Lamazar had just enough time to put his shield up and block it. "Go and leave this place," he said,"and don't worry about me. After all, the only thing I ever wanted is for this beast to be dead and get revenge for my family." A tear ran down his cheek as the tail striked his shield again and it shattered. Alma's footsteps could be heard as she dragged Leon away from the area. "Alright you bastard, that was my father's shield and I will get revenge for them all!" As he hit the demon with his mother's sword the Holy Avenger he cried, "That's for my mother who you killed while she was sleeping because you were afraid of her sword!" The demon recoiled and screamed high pitched as Lamazar hit him yet again. And that's for my father who's shield even stopped all your minions with one mighty bash to the ground!" The demon squealed in pain high pitched as Lamazar yelled, "And for my brother Leon who you could've just now killed and if he's dead, I'll even fight you for an eternity if it means getting revenge!" He sliced the demon's leg nearly off so far and left a big gash in its face. The demon took no notice and shot Lamazar with the same energy ball used on Leon. Lamazar was hurt and on his knees now but stood slowly and was determined to never give up. Blood and sweat were mixed together as it all dripped on the flor from both the combatants. Lamazar smiled and said, "Very well, it seems you won't back down, and I have but one option left." He charged up all energy he had left to the center of his body and prepared for an attack that had 50% chance of killing him but would surely kill his opponent. "List'iner Vocho TePair!"
He and the whole cavern along with the demon exploded. Leaving nothing but rubble dust and a place for people to dig through looking for him or the demon.
As Alma and Leon showed up they began to have tears roll down their cheeks knowing what Lamazar had done and as they cried a metal gloved hand that belonged to the man who survived burst through and with it Lamazar with a yell of triumph.
I hope you liked it man as usual 5/5 10/10
keep up the great work
MaestroRage responds:
A brutal and epic battle for sure. Lamazar doesn't take nothing from nobody it seems >:(!
The story flows well, the events and descriptions present, the sentences seemed a little unnatural, for example
""Go and leave this place," he said,"and don't worry about me. After all, the only thing I ever wanted is for this beast to be dead and get revenge for my family."
could be written as
"Go, leave this place!" he said, "Don't worry about me, the only thing I could ever want is to destroy the beast that killed my family!"
small changes, but important ones. I of course suggest these to you because I do think you have a talent for writing, and will eventually become really good. Keep up the good work!
Concerning the story itself. It takes a might big man to eradicate an entire cavern and survive! But that just makes it all the more epic. Risking his own life for the spell that would crush so many. It was an interesting idea to give the mother the blade and the father the shield, where normally it would be the reverse...
thank you for the review, i'm glad you liked it!
Absolute Musical Genius.
You can really feel the emotion behind this song- Roman legions and near- robotic Prussian infantry come to mind. This is definitely going into my new strategy series! ^_^
very awesome
your song i so AWESOME!!!!!!
i can't make a song!!!WHO HELP ME?!
Wow
How the hell can i git this on my myspace!!!!!