Fair ideas, but execution needs work.
Mainly: What the hell is your bassline doing half the time? It goes off on its own -- which wouldn't necessarily be bad if it didn't switch keys every bar and a half(?) to completely unrelated chord structures while your uppers stay static.
Otherwise I'm entirely too keen on your choice of timbre or effects.
I respect what you tried to do, what it should be, but isn't.
This could be pretty epic if you work on your sound design (synth programming) and audio production skills. I'd love to hear what you do with this track a year from now if you keep going.
You are encouraged to take this review with a grain of salt, but I'd rather give you a list of things that sound poor so they can be improved upon (and sound amazing the next time through):
* Timbre -- each and every last sound is flabby.
With production and effects, you might be able to use the same tones, but while the production sounds 'wide' enough, it's very thin. Don't fatten it with more detune, that's not what it needs.
* EQ -- The sounds are all occupying the same place, stepping on each other.
* Compression -- learn it, use it well. Get some snap in the right places.
* Clever use of reverb -- not to make things echo'y, but to reinforce what's there and place your instruments on a soundstage. Also play with stereo width and panning automation.
* Chord change -- more of them. It's a short track, but it hovers around the same few notes. Break up what you have into at least two phrases. This also gives you an opportunity to create awesome bridges (transitions).
* Dynamics -- More. Make the low-volume stuff more low-volume and hype the stuf that needs to be in front. Modulate them, automate them, play/record them. Give it feeling by making the notes jump and duck. It's hard to put too many dynamics in.
* Have at least one something not perfectly quantized. Everything is 100% "tight" to the beat. Get some human playing in there, or some sound samples to comliment your 100% synth-driven groove
* Percussion. You do vary it, but it never changes 'style'. It's there, it does a job, but it doesn't push or pull the song, it doesn't carry the flow like it ought.
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