“2007 I started a Flash that I never finished!” Well are you ever gonna finish it? It’s been 12 years. Lol!
-str-
Reviews for "Pico Day 2018 (Acapella)"
Cyberdevil responds:
Yeah it's been a while. XD I hope so...
Maybe the most relatable piece I've heard from you yet. "2007... a flash I never finished." Man, I remember I got up two days before clock day, crapped out some unfinished storyboard animation to ColdPlay "Clocks," probably got removed for infringement by now. Those were better days.
I remember being in SESClassics... and having folders full off redundant animations for groups that no longer even exist.
Long story short, I've got mad nostalgia going right now. At times I can't sense exactly where you're pushing your rhyme scheme, but as far as freestyle goes, and I can really sense that vibe with your flow, you're turning into a major monster.
Let's go to the composition itself.
The Cyberdevil does he not master his demons?
I guess not! Procrastination is the bane of reason!
But all progress - little or lot - has meaning.
And spontaneous creation is the crane I'm reaching!
Huge props here. Strong rhyme scheme, good switchup, little wisdom, and this is probably the highest point of your piece. More like this.
It'll be fun! Good people have a bite and binge!
To all you peeps: may life be nice and kin rise
And with ice in our glasses as the lighting dims
And thunder rumbles and the lightning blinks
This, here, though it's visually popping in my head, might need a few synonyms around those last two lines, maybe even a switcharoo -- ice in our glasses, lightning flashes -- with a thunderous sound, and the lights go down, reminding us the Reich of Kings is in town!
Although, you did keep a good flow regardless. Color me impressed. Only thing I could add is that "reich" is usually pronounced with a KH, not a CH.
Just throwing out suggestions here and there.
Rife with life this site is! Delightening
I would probably write this as "This site is rife with life -- delightfully" -- with the same sounds and stresses as "delightening," even though I've never heard that word before. Have to check if it exists later. Otherwise nice, strong phrasing.
Your sound has vastly improved. Good volume level, sounds good on headphones and speakers. Noise sounds a lot cleaner. Only complaint this time around is just what sounds like a little bit of mic clipping on the recording end when you start really feeling yourself toward the end, and thus naturally go just a little bit beyond what your mic can handle. That or it could be mastering compression. Just looking at the waveform, it's a toss up of one or both.
Great work!
Cyberdevil responds:
Yeah I miss feeling like it's alright to just submit whatever. :) Expectations rise.
Heeey you really improved on that second quatrain. :D I see what you mean. Yeah. Would need to shorten that to something like ...sound, the lights go down, reminding us the Reich's in town' to fit the flow. Context goes off a bit in the example but should be possible (though I'm not sure I'll make a new take on this one that's great for the future). I wasn't super happy with the final line there but didn't realize tracing the previous rhyme scheme is what has that effect either. Enlightening.
Good note on the pronunciation too. Good knowing. Was wondering if someone would have something against that word choice btw, in which case I'd point out that: it literally means kingdom. Can't let how words have been used steer how or what words we use now! They stole and tarnished the symbol of the sun god too, but we should bring that back as well! But nobody said anything so hmm...
Well Delightening rhymed with reich of kings. :) Though didn't really match that with the following line. I don't think it exists. I often twist words in ways they're not usually twisted just for the rhyme scheme, when the meaning (I hope?) still comes across. Simple way of producing somewhat unique lyrics in a world where everything's done?. :)
Yupp, clipping. Need to learn to bring the mic a bit further away when I go haywire. Glad you find the quality better overall though! Since it's the same mic I must be getting better at this. The reason I really go in at the end there is mainly because I'm finally warmed up, and done, so no need to save on vocal chords. It's just finally: let it out! Wouldn't be able to maintain that voice that long or at a higher tempo.
Thanks for the feedback and appreciation! Some really useful notes too!
Ha-ha-ha, rap god! :-D
"2007 I started a Flash that I never finished!" - vitally, same shit.
Cyberdevil responds:
Relatable stuff huh. XD Thanks!
Better than Ice-T, Snoop Dogg, and Kanye West combined!
Cyberdevil responds:
Thanks man. XD
fresh as fuuuuuuuuukkkkkkk
HAPPY PICO DAY
Cyberdevil responds:
WOO Happy Pico Day man!