My thoughts while listening:
0:00 The intro. Has lots of drums, and the chords start coming in. Starts out with a full sound right away, probably due to multiband compression.
0:30 Now, the melody is coming in from behind all the other instruments.
0:43 The drums are becoming quieter, and more interesting rhythms are developing. The melody is almost dominating the sound. The compression gives it the feel of a climax.
0:55 Now, this is more like it! It's a more powerful version of 0:43. However, the melody is a but quiet, but that's probably necessary becuase of the legato. The rhythm definantly sounds like trance!
1:10 Well, this is new! The other stuff was getting old anyways. It's a buildup, and the breakdown was skipped. I guess this is supposed to add tension.
1:27 This is another climax! It sounds similar to 0:55, but with a guitar. This makes it sound even more powerful. Nice melody, but I don't remember if it occurred in the buildup or not.
1:37 That drum fill tho. *-* I have no idea how people come up with that since I'm a noob with drums.
1:40 An even more intense version of 1:27? New melodies keep coming in, and the only repetition I've heard is structure-wise. The rhythms keep getting faster and faster too.
1:54 Yet, another variation of 0:55, but it sounds more like a breakdown. I'm expecting a quieter part now after sooo much loudness and compression, but it's trance so maybe no.
2:00 Dubstep?! YUS
2:09 Dubstep drop? Everything that happens is new, but when's the climax going to end?
2:50 FINALLY I can recognize a melody I've heard before! This repetition is nice.
3:05 Again, FINALLY! That was possibly the longest climax I've heard in a song, and this tension breaking is a relief.
3:18 The song is half-way over. It's binary form. Does this mean the rest will be repetition of the first half? I'm a bit tired of all this new stuff.
3:30 Lots of 8th notes. This gives some opportunity for syncopation.
3:40 Another new melody? Again? Maybe it is repeated, but I certainly don't recognize it.
3:45 :D Repetition! This is the sort of stuff that makes songs memorable!
3:57 A hook? It feels lke it should've happened too at 0:55, but hooks are always awesome.
4:00 More repetition! This really feels like a song now, unlike before!
4:13 This melody sounds familiar, but it's not catchy enough that I would know for sure.
4:26 A different version of 4:13! It's much easier to follow the melody now that I'm familiar with it.
4:46 Is this a key change? I really hope so, because this would be the perfect timing for it. So far, you've absolutely nailed this from 3:45 until now, so you better not disappoint me!
5:00 This feels like the highest point of the song! Will the intensity keep going, or will you surprise me with something mindblowing?
5:10 YUS YUS YUS you are absolutely nailing this!!!
5:26 Umm excuse me? This feels a bit long-winded. I guess you wanted to exaggerate this part.
5:36 This is like climax-builup-higher climax-builup-even higher climax-buildup-etc. It can't just go on forever. You need a breakdown at some point.
5:38 This is so LOUD! Also, I can't tell if it's a new drop, or if it's a copy of the old one. Sure, it's incredibly heavy, but not exactly memorable.
5:51 Those three notes right there. That's the sorta stuff that makes a memorable drop! It's all about rhythm.
6:23 I would've expected the drop to end by now. You have a thing for intense music.
6:33 Is this a breakdown, or will it turn into another buildup?
7:00 Another new thing? Well, it is very appropriate for an outro, but this part feels like it should've been copied and pasted in between the climaxes too. Or drops, whatever you prefer to call them. Also, it's very step-wise making it sound more like Mozart when I would've preferred some syncopation.
My post-listening thoughts:
There were a lot of missed oppurtunities in this song, so let me list a few.
0:00 Starting out with a full sound takes away the opportunity to build up from a weaker sound.
0:55 Maybe copy and paste the hook from 3:57. This would differentiate it more from the buildup.
1:37 This feels like it should've been copied into the 2nd half of the song too.
3:30 Deleting some random notes in the chords would've made some nice syncopation.
4:46 Perfect opportunity for a key change, and you completely missed it.
5:26 I really needed another break from all the intensity, but instead you built up to a bass drop. Maybe it's is all just my taste in music, and trance is supposed to be like this.
7:00 Typically, there would be one more thing besides a breakdown before the song ends, but it doesn't really matter that much to me personally.
There was a lot of stuff you did really well too.
3:45-5:26 Everything here was perfect except it felt like it needed a key change. There's other good parts too, but this one stands out.
In general, you do a good job with making everything flow, but sometimes this is a vice when I expected the song to change.
Also, awesome mastering! You may have overdone the compression, but it's a matter of taste.
You are awesome at making everything sound intense too!
Final thoughts:
There's a few small things you can work on, but here's what I think matters.
You need to work on melodies, because it's an essential part to making a memorable song.
My tips are: analyze pop melodies, learn syncopation, and make some chiptunes for practice.
My personal favorite trick: Put your drums on the beat, and chords off the beat.
Also, you need more contrast between different parts of the song.
You shouldn't be able to randomly scroll through the song with it all sounding the same, because the changes are what inflict emotion.
My tip for this: Keep the same melody, but try to make it sound different by changing the accompaniment. Challenge yourself to make it sound euphoric, then depressing, or other two conflicting emotions.
However, I'm not familiar with trance, so I don't really know the rules of the genre.
Also, it's a remix, so I'm not aware of which parts you made or not.
I hope this review helps you make better music! =)