This is very potential! I love the story and the writing style. But it could have been better with some music (especially in battle scene) and some background graphic.
Overall, I had lot of fun ^^ Good job!
Reviews for "Chronicles of Terra: Makon the Overlord"
Why people like this I do not know, unless they have never played this type of game and never read a story before. It's just too plain to enjoy.
Sub-par writing. The jokes are awkward and disrupt the story and its mood, I would suggest adding more of them in in more constant intervals so that they don't stand out so much. There's also a constant change of tense, it makes it really hard to read when it changes from past to present tense. The story was pretty meh, Makon is your average Mary Sue and the fact that it's the main character makes it extremely boring unless you are a person whose idea of a good character is someone who is completely unaffected by the plot and faces no significant challenge-- something pretty common in tweens. Your diction and story pacing can also use some work. I've seen worse writing and I know yours will get better, my criticism is here to make your writing better and you are free to take my advice or not.
I liked it so much!
While it's mostly a ripoff of another CYOA called "Choice of the Dragon", it kinda by makes up for it by how little the game takes itself seriously. Make sure you are more original next time.