I'm going to be honest. I have been in a similar situation. A couple of years ago I tried to commit suicide. I had a knife, and I was going to cut my throat. My dad was in the other room, and I told him what I was going to do. Life was not worth living, I had no friends, I was the loner at school. My parents were going to get divorced, and my father blamed me, said it was my fault. He told me he didn't give a shit, when I told him I was going to kill myself, he told me to do it. He said I would not be missed. It was then that I realized two things, I only wanted to kill myself because I wanted someone to love me, and wanted to be remembered after I died, and that wasn't happening. I also realized I didn't have the balls to do it. Many years have passed since then. I have been hospitalized for mental illness and depression for three years since then. I almost got raped at the hospital, and was beaten by other patients every week. Now I know the bitter truth after all the years as life got continuously. You don't know what you have until it's gone, and things can always get worse. I hope Sydney the best. Even if nobody reads this and won't help shit, at least I got to say what's been on my mind.