I couldn't tell if you were being serious.
Clearly you're at least a somewhat capable artist and if you develop that, it could grow into something worthwhile but... I haven't seen the previous episode and this is garbage as far as plot and characters go.
Cliche story elements, two dimensional dialogue, and I won't be harsh on the voice actors because that's something that's hard to improve on if you didn't happen to have some good ones on hand. And on that note, one or two of the people doing voices here actually show potential to BECOME good at it, so all is not lost.
I'd like to assume you'd be able to learn something about making an intelligent, well executed plotline that doesn't seem like an amateur aping Shounen, which doesn't have much integrity to begin with, and not make a personal statement about you as a person or artist.
Diversify your tastes, and admittedly most of my dislike for this could be a matter of taste, but I think if you studied a higher form of media than animes who's main demographic is fully intended to be males from 10 to 14 years (Naruto, Dragonball Z, Bleach...), polished the artwork a bit more, strived for more competent voice acting, you could make something good since the good writing would presumably make itself happen.
Of course I realize this is probably a pet project of yours and I respect that.