It's neat, but it's also not really a game; it's just a concept with no real progression or explanation. I get what happened within the story, but without the how or why or any real setup to it, it just doesn't matter. There needs to be more content and, ultimately, a point to a story-driven game (which is what this feels like) to really make it a success. Don't give up! It's clear you have some interesting ideas, and I'd like to see something more fleshed out and complete from you.