Reviews for TOME Short: Hackers

[psychicpebble2]

Congratulations! You Fixed Nothing. PART 2

I ran out of room so I decided to leave a second part.

You probably think I hate you, or I am leaving these reviews to be mean, but let me once again clarify. I would NOT be leaving these reviews if I didn't think you had potential, and could fix the things you have issues on. These things are an EASY fix. Just fix them, I'm not trying to control how you do your videos, I understand the fact that you feel I (and everyone else) are trying to make you do it "our" way.

We are not, we just want you to fix some very easy things that we also had issues with. The reason you are not improving is because you are too easy on yourself, and think it is US that have a problem, not you.

Now that I have that out of the way, I will continue.

The humor aspect is a subject I'd of liked to have covered in my review for TOME episode 1, but also ran out of room there. The humor is unbearable. Doing random voices is not funny, doing a French accent and pronouncing words strangely is not funny. If you're going to go for that sort of humor, at the very least you could make it zany and go all out. It is up to YOU to tell your voice actors what you want, you are the director of your work, if you don't like what they do, tell them. If you do like how they did it, then I can blame you for that.

Often whilst watching this I found myself sitting there and thinking, "Was that a joke? Or was that suppsoed to further this characters characters and progress the story at all?" The only REAL joke I detected here was the man about to tell his sexual orientation to his friend, and then getting smashes by a rock. That was sadly the only point where I could tell it was intended to be funny. Which is wasn't. It was so obvious, I was crossing my fingers for a LITTLE BIT of irony, or something to spice the joke up a bit, but no. I got a slap in the face. It was as simple as; "Man is about to tell something important. Doesn't." That was it.

You could've had the man about to tell his sexual orientation, and the rock appear like it's about to smash him, but instead smashes his friend, and he says, "I'm gay". Anything. However, instead you went with a joke a five year old could have written. I was expecting the punchline.

I have another joke you may want to use in a future "TOME" episode or short. "Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side" . Use that sparingly, it really kills the audience.

The point of making a video is to get people's attention and entertain. That's the entire reason animators do what they do, is to entertain. How they do that may be different. Some do it for fear, some do it for laughs, others excitement. Whatever you are trying to do as an animator, you do it as hard as you can. If someone told me I wasn't doing what I am supposed to do, I would do everything I could to fix it. You went for excitement, you went for humor, and you went to make the audience more curious as to who they are working for.

You failed in all of those areas. I didn't laugh, I wasn't even anything from watching this. I only felt joy when the end came. You may say, "You're not supposed to know a lot about these characters, YET!". At least make it interesting. Take a show like Breaking Bad for example, where you didn't know much about certain characters but something thrilling happened with them. The whole "mysterious" aspect isn't enough to incite any curiousity.

I have a feeling these two bad guys work for that lock thing in the first episode that told that one guy about his "UNLOCKED ABILITIES" or whatever. If not him, someone else. Regardless of WHAT happens, I feel that "Rockoon and Doubling" will end up joining forces with the heroes at the end to defeat the biggest bad guy. It has been done a trillion times.

Don't say this isn't my cup of tea. I won't stop watching this until you improve which we all know you can. You can do much better and you aren't. Kirbopher, you went to college for this shit. COLLEGE. I haven't taken any classes for this and can tell you basic shit that's wrong just from observing it once.

Advice. Take it.

[Redfeather]

This was horribly obnoxious

I'm sorry, but that was just embarrassing to watch, I had to lock my door to make sure so one came in and thinks that I watch this kinda trash regularly. To say that the jokes were poorly timed would imply that anything in this mess could be considered a joke. In everything you do you actually manage to stuff in these really lame forced gay "jokes" that actually make gay really.. gay. The voices were really annoying too, I'm sure that was your intention, but there was way too much dialog in this "short " for it pass off as just these are bad guys and their supposed to sound like assholes.

I don't really want to go in the the characters or the story, I just didn't like them or it. One was really enthusiastic about breaking stuff on the internet and allegedly making "mad money" for doing so, and the other who was monotone was very cynical on the matter and for some reason brought up how this was cutting into his time playing sports(why?). I think the moral was you can still find enjoyment even if you hate your job, out of other peoples misfortune, even if they don't look like people and in fact deformed abominations. So yeah, I guess this had a point, messing with people is kinda fun. But regardless I found the characters very unlikeable, uninteresting and annoying, and that your portrayal of "hackers" to be very lame.

The animation, even if it's mostly tween's and awkward movement, didn't really bother me too much, I try to look past that and base my opinion off the content. But those colors are just ugly. From what a gather their supposed to be in some internet realm, but my god it just looks depressing, something similar to how I picture your imagination looking like. I know your colors take a lot of heat in reviews, but your characters just look dull and sad, it would be better if this was in black and white.

I almost felt obligated to review this just because the already shamefully low quality standards on this site manage to dip lower just for you. For most flash's that I dislike because I don't like the characters, voices or the plot, I can at least understand how some people might like it, but this? It blows my mind that theirs actually an audience that enjoys this. This is offensively bad.

[Scroler]

boring

This was so bland and horrible, cant believe I wasted my time watching it, everything felt forced and just seemed so random...what game are they hacking anyways? Where did killing people come from? This just made no sense at all, decent animation and voice acting but the graphics themselves...I have no idea what I'm supposed to see or think in this.

[Nickypickle]

Hi! I'm Nickypickle!

And judging by your face, I can clearly guarantee you're saying in your head right now, "Oh great. Another troll who gave me zero stars. Better think of something witty to reply to this random jerk and not even read this entire review at all!".

Let me explain, first of all.

To not let you criticize me, or any other jackass to try to say "@Nickypickle" or anything else like that (e.g., the idiot under me), I am a writer, and a reviewer. My sole purpose on Newgrounds is to view entertainment online, look closely, and describe in my head, 'What's going on?', ever since my first visit in 2008. I don't post flashes, art, or music to this site. I don't contribute, other than to help the authors in a constructive way. Please don't say anything that would describe how much I couldn't have done that you could.

Now...

I heard this "TOME" thing was popular, since Chris O' Neil AND Egoraptor both would review for these series. I decided to watch these two episodes, and wow.

The first millisecond of the finished flash made my brain throw up all my creative ideas, considering the fact, that in 2011, with all the productions of comedy, programs like "Sai", writers that are famous, and experienced, talented people like this can make things like this so bad, that my brain would throw up my creative ideas.

The movement was bad, the voices were lower than average, and the story?

It came to me that you, "Kirbopher", or "Chris Niosi", or whatever you want me to call you, that you are a very horrible writer. You cannot script, you cannot act, you cannot plot, and you can't do anything like this get over a 4 in an average rating.

Bullshit like this remind me that you can't do anything, and you can't make anything. This flash is a prime example why.

Now for the more technicals.

What is the story? What is it? A random raccoon, and a random talking, gelatinous substance come out of nowhere, and kill two people in a random habitat, where there's no climax at all, no ending, and no beginning? This makes absolutely no sense at all, and if you ever want to become successful, then I suggest actually coming into consideration that Chris and Ego and all the other raters that give you below a 5 are absolutely right in any way possible.

I wasn't here at the beginning of Newgrounds, so I don't go to conventions and whatever. But I looked at some of the reviews, and both Chris and Ego (and even PsychicPebble) say that you're not listening to them... if this was a very big project and if they say that you need to improve, you need to improve.

The art was disgusting. The idiot under me doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about. I'm also an artist, and I can tell that these characters don't deserve to be looked at by a half a tenth of a million viewers.

The colors were fractal. You didn't use radial values, which made it even more shitty. This explains why there isn't talent in you, or any of the other staff that contributed to this poor excuse of a popular work.

The voices were again, under average, but how they did it? It was the most unrealistic experience of my life.

Any dumb fuck stupid enough to rate this over a 5 have no interest in quality, just continuation.

Don't you dare say that this wasn't my cup of tea, (You KNOW what I'm talking about.) because it already annoys me that this isn't anyone's fucking cup of tea.

This isn't called potential, this is called stupidity. I can't believe this exists, because it should have been blammed from the start. This was absolutely a disgrace to newgrounds, and I hope you never continue these series ever again.