This is a NGADM review.
Your Score Breakdown:
Production: 27.5/30
Composition: 25/30
Instrumentation: 13.5/15
Originality: 9/10
Emotion/Interest: 14/15
Total: 89/100 or 8.90/10 or 4.5/5 stars
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Let me start this review off by saying that this is one of my absolute favorite entries in the whole contest. Not only does it have a fabulous emotion to it, but it just has all these wonderful tasteful ornaments and some great contrast and shape overall. My favorite points were around 1:14 and 2:21- jaw on da floor!
First off, MAJOR kudos for the vocals. Tuning, phrasing, and performance are all very good. My only comment is on the production side of the vocals. Your own voice can end up sounding a little flat and mid-heavy at points, maybe consider trying some EQ or other options. Also, although a luxury, recording in stereo might add an interesting feeling of scope to the vocals more fitting of a world or ambient feel. I also feel Merry's voice could be very slightly louder.
The main thing that I think could benefit this piece is a larger climax, maybe the addition of more instruments would help achieve this. I also suggest considering adding a fitting drum, perhaps a frame drum or bodhran, even a tambourine. I've done a few collabs with Camoshark over the years and that has suitably convinced me of the need for [tasteful] ethnic drums in world music. The light percussion is nice, but could definitely be supplemented with more instruments, especially around transition points like 2:21.
The mix is quite pleasant. I do feel some more time could have been put into the middle-ground and background of the piece, which as it stands is rather simple (not necessarily a bad thing). Perhaps the addition of some recorders or flutes to play along with the vocals would be an interesting addition.
-SG